Renatum
by nessatea
Summary: He did it. He's free. Now he has to deal with picking up the pieces. When old friends open up fresh wounds and he gets tangled with the very thing he's trying to avoid, Jesse learns that the past is a cruel mistress and that fate is even crueler. Jesse Pinkman gets a new start – but it sure as hell isn't Alaska.
1. I

I

* * *

**September 9****th****, 1992 - Albuquerque**

* * *

"Jesse, this is Mr. and Mrs. Scott. Joseph, Giovanna, this is our son, Jesse," his father introduced.

Eight year old Jesse waved lazily. He would have rather been out biking with his friends, but his parents had insisted that he needed to meet the new neighbours. The Scotts had just moved into the big house at the end of their street. He had been told that they had a kid and he was hoping that it was a boy so he would have someone to play video games with.

Mr. Scott was a big man who had bright blue eyes and black hair. He ruffled Jesse's hair and laughed, "Hello, son, nice to meet you."

Mrs. Scott on the other hand, was a tall and slender woman. Her hair was light brown and fell in loose curls around her angular face. Her eyes were sparkling green and her voice was lightly hinted with some sort of accent. Freshly manicured fingers pinched his cheeks. "Oh, isn't he just darling!"

"Darling, where is that daughter of ours?" Mr. Scott asked, looking around.

Jesse frowned a little. A girl would not want to come down to the arcade with him and would definitely not want to go ride bikes with him and his friends. However, as if on cue, a small girl came running down the street. She wore a light pink dress and black shoes. She looked like her mother but had her hair cut in a bob and the same striking blue eyes as her father. She stopped behind Mr. Scott, sounding a little out of breath.

"Sorry, Papa, I was just making sure Bonbon got fed," she said, batting her lashes.

Mr. Scott laughed heartily and pulled her forward. "And this is our daughter, Felicity. Felicity, meet Mr. and Mrs. Pinkman, and their son, Jesse. He's the same age as you."

Felicity cocked her head to the side and nodded a little. "Hello."


	2. II

II

* * *

**September 9****th****, 2010 - Brooklyn**

* * *

Todd's car had conked out on him five miles ago and he had been walking, hoping that he wouldn't get jumped or picked up by the cops. He was tired, hungry and frankly he looked and smelled like shit. As much as he would have liked to hitchhike with someone, the odds were slim, especially since he was sure his face had been all over the news. However, much to his surprise, he heard the loud sound of a rumbling truck slow down behind him. A man in the driver's seat poked his head out the window.

"I'm headed to Brooklyn, need a lift?"

Jesse hesitated for a moment, positive that the driver would barrel away as soon as he recognized him, or worse, get out his cell phone and call the police – but no. The man simply gestured for Jesse to get inside the cab. He complied and slowly got into the truck. "T-Thanks, man."

"What a coincidence," the man mumbled as the truck. "Thought I'd never see you again."

Jesse glanced at him and gulped. "W-What?"

"Oh, well… I guess we've never met formally… I'm sure you remember Best Quality Vacuum Repair, though," the man said.

He thought for a moment before remembering where he had heard that before. Jesse's eyes widened. Maybe this was his silver lining. Maybe things were starting to look up. "You're the guy that can make someone disappear or whatever, right? Oh, man… Hey… Do you thin-"

Before Jesse could even continue, the truck driver silenced him. "Nope. You had your chance, Pinkman. And besides, I'm on the clock right now."

"C'mon… I don't know what to do… I have nowhere to do, cut a man some slack!" Jesse pleaded feeling all hope slipping away from him – not that he had been expecting to come across the Extractor guy that Saul had set him up to meet all those months ago. He strongly regretted not taking the chance when he had it.

"Sorry, kid, those are the rules," he said simply, shrugging a little. "I'll still give you a lift to Brooklyn, if you want."

Jesse remained silent, mentally trying to piece together his next move. Brooklyn was no Alaska but it was far away from Albuquerque and that was as good as it was going to get for now. If he was lucky, he would stumble upon a homeless shelter that would take him in. He looked back to the truck driver. "Yo, dude… What's the news back home?"

He shrugged. "Not much yet. They said that you're probably in Alaska or something – which we both know is untrue. That means they'll be swarming like bees up there. Looks like you caught a lucky break, kid."

Jesse nodded slowly, feeling slightly relieved but at the same time disappointed. It looked as if Alaska was out of the question now that it was crawling with feds. He would be stranded in Brooklyn, now. The rest of the ride was silent until they finally rolled into the city. The truck backed into a small parking lot. "Alright, this is your stop."

"Where are we?" Jesse asked, looking out the window.

"The Lucky Fox, it's a bar."

"What the hell am I supposed to here?"

"Look, consider this an act of charity. I know someone in there who is in the same line of work as me. They may or may not be more generous or understanding than I am, but I can't be sure. I figure this is the best place for you to start," he explained.

"Just go up to the bar and ask for a glass of whiskey on the rocks and once you get it, get a napkin, fold it in half and put it on top of the glass. Simple. Don't put the glass on a coaster either," the man instructed.

Jesse nodded quickly and let out a deep sigh before opening the cab door and hopping out. "Thanks for the lift, man. I really appreciate it…"

"Don't mention it, kid. And by the way, after you do all that stuff, tell the person that Ed sent you."

Nodding again, Jesse closed the door slowly and made his way into the bar. It was dimly lit as most bars were and looked rather high end. All of the furniture was dark wood and leather while quiet music played in the background, though it was mostly drowned out by idle chatter and the sound of glasses clinking. Jesse kept his head down low as he ambled further into the room, taking a seat at the bar.

"Mm, how can I help you, sir?" the bartender asked, wiping down the counter between them.

"Uh… Whiskey, on the rocks," he answered gruffly, turning his head away from the other man.

"Ah, coming right up," the bartender answered, flitting away quickly.

Jesse held his head in his hands until he heard something be placed in front of him. The man who had been serving him was already on the other end of the bar, helping out another customer. There were about three other bartenders working alongside him, all of which looked pretty occupied at the moment. He pulled the coaster from under the drink and set a folded napkin on top of the glass. All he had to do now was wait.

He had been sitting there for a good ten minutes before someone finally came up to him. Jesse didn't look up completely, barely able to make out the person's features. He could tell that it was a woman. She had long dark hair that faded to a lighter brown towards the ends. It was curled loosely. She wore the same uniform as the rest of the employees – a black dress shirt, black pants and a white apron around the waist. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows showing off lightly tanned skin and her nails were chipping dark pink nail polish. All she did was slide a piece of paper across the counter before stalking off to the back. He slowly turned the paper over.

_Down the stairs by the washrooms, knock on the first door three times. 50k. _

Jesse frowned. He didn't have so much as five dollars on him right now. He sincerely hoped that Ed's referral would hold some weight. He glanced around before getting up, slipping the paper into his back pocket. He tried his best to be inconspicuous as he made his way to the washrooms and descended down the stairs. Like the paper had indicated, Jesse knocked on the door three times and stood back.

Slowly but surely, the door cracked open. "Money?"

"…Ed sent me," he mumbled.

There was a beat before the door swung open wide.

"Oh? Well, if that's the case, then you must be pretty speci-"

Jesse furrowed his brow and looked up from the floor to see why the woman had stopped speaking. His jaw dropped.

"Felicity?"

"…Jesse Pinkman – you're supposed to be in Alaska," she mumbled, gesturing for him to come inside, "And I guess that's why you're here."

He remained silent as he entered the small room. It was more like a big broom closet. There was a desk with a computer, a chair and a small photography set up fashioned with a box light and a standard gray background. Felicity crossed her arms and turned to him, ice blue eyes staring into his own.

"…Alaska didn't work out," he muttered, not sure if she knew what had happened yet. It had only been a few days, after all.

She took a few steps back and took a seat on the desk. "You look like shit."

Jesse frowned. "You think I don't know that?"

Felicity shook her head and let out a small laugh. "I'm just fucking with you, Pinkman. I'm glad that you're still alive and kicking."

He scoffed. "Yeah… Well… It's good to see you too."

He couldn't exactly wrap his mind around what was going on right now. A part of him was thinking that he just passed out in the middle of the road and now was having weirdest lucid dream ever. It was surreal. The last time he had seen Felicity Scott was on the day of their high school graduation. She received her diploma and strutted to the back of the crowd and she was never seen again. No one had any idea where she had gone – not even his parents. This had to be some sort of dream. If the real Felicity knew what he had been up to these past couple of years, she would have already strung him up by his balls and scolded him for being so stupid. But no. Here she was, sitting on a table in a dank bar basement, ready and equipped to illegally give him a fresh start and help him, a certified murderer, escape the law and continue living as a free man.

"What brings you to Brooklyn?" she asked as she swung her legs over the table to get behind it.

"Uh… Originally I was driving here… But my car broke down on me a few miles out from here. I ended up walking and eventually hitchhiking in this guy's truck. It just turned out that the vacuum guy – Ed – was the one driving it," Jesse explained.

It felt strange to be so open with someone after all this time but he had known Felicity since he was a kid and that alone seemed to be enough of a reason to trust her. Not only that, but it was obvious that her business did not permit her to spill the secrets of her clients. Jesse watched her tap away at the computer before pulling a camera out from under the desk. "I'll need you to step on the X marked on the floor, please."

Jesse complied, still a bit confused about everything that was happening at the moment. He shoved his hands in his pockets and maintained a stoic face as Felicity attached her camera to a tripod and looked at him through the viewfinder. He expected her to snap a picture, but instead, she straightened up and looked at him, squinting a little. "Where are you staying tonight?"

He raised a brow. "What?"

"Where are you staying tonight?" Felicity repeated, putting her hands on her hips.

"Uh… I dunno… I was gonna get to that when I needed to… Why?" he asked, narrowing his eyes a little.

"Crash at my place," she offered.

"What? Y-You don't have to do that, I mean I'm sure I can find somewhere to sleep tonight-" Jesse protested. "You're… Already doing all of this… I don't want you to get in trouble for harboring a criminal or something…"

Felicity shushed him promptly. "It's fine, really. I have extra rooms, it's no big deal. I just think it'd be better if you get some sleep and I dunno, a haircut? Before I take your picture that is. Like I said, you look like complete shit."

He huffed and shrugged. "If it really won't be a problem then… Yeah, it would be nice to sleep on something that isn't a concrete floor under something that isn't tarp…"

Her brows knitted tightly and Jesse bit his tongue. He wasn't exactly comfortable sharing that portion if this whole ordeal with anyone – especially not someone like Felicity, who always had a bad habit of doting on him. Jesse's parents appreciated that bit about her. They always thought that she would be able to keep him in line. Little did they know that Felicity was able to get just as wild as he was. However, she somehow had the magical ability to never get caught and regain her composure at the most opportune of times while he was always stuck shitfaced when things got serious.

"Alright, good! And anyway, don't want to risk anyone recognizing you," she reasoned as she put her camera back into one of the drawers in the desk. She waltzed right by him and opened the door, throwing him a casual glance. "So? Are you coming or not?" 


	3. III

III

* * *

**September 13****th****, 1992 - Albuquerque**

* * *

"Happy birthday, Jesse," the small girl said, thrusting a large box towards him. Felicity looked unenthused as usual but he did notice the small quirk in her lip as he accepted the present.

"Thanks Fissy," he teased as he rushed back to the TV where he and the rest of his friends were sitting.

Felicity was the only girl at the party and was only really invited because their parents were such good friends. She sat alone on the recliner while she watched the other kids take turns playing Sonic the Hedgehog. She had never touched a Genesis before and would have preferred not to make a fool of herself in front of all these boys. Felicity was often associated with Jesse due to how close their parents were. Whenever there was a barbecue or get together, Felicity was there regardless of if Jesse wanted her to be there or not. She had a bad habit of trying to boss him around.

One of the other boys, Emilio, turned and motioned to her. He was new in town but he made friends quickly. He and Jesse were particularly close. "Hey, do you want to give it a shot?"

She opened her mouth to decline the offer but she supposed Jesse wanted to answer for her, "Nah, what the heck does she know about video games anyway? Just pass it to Pete if you don't wanna play."

Emilio frowned a little but Felicity offered him a small shrug. She didn't mind. It Jesse's birthday party, anyway. After a few more minutes of watching the boys play, a whole train of adults came into the room singing Happy Birthday. Jesse's mother also held a cake, fully outfitted with a Superman topper and a sparkling candle. Felicity noticed Jesse's eyes light up as he bounded from in front of the TV to the dinner table. Soon, all of his friends assembled with him and joined in the singing. Felicity was the last one to make it to the table, but by then, Jesse had already blown out the candles.

Everyone cheered and took a moment to snap photos before moving back a little. Felicity felt a strong hand on her shoulder and looked up to see her father. He smiled at her and she pursed her lips. "Do you think he's going to like what I got him?"

"I have a good feeling," her father replied, squeezing her shoulder.

Jesse already went straight to work on opening his gifts. So far, he had received a new game for his Genesis from his parents, a sweater from his aunt Ginny, a Super Soaker from Brandon and a new Transformer from Pete. Felicity held her breath as her gift came into view. It was packaged in a uniform box, wrapped in bright pink wrapping paper with a large purple bow on it. There was a card attached to it as well. She wrapped it herself. Jesse eyed her from across the room.

"Well, I sure know who this is from," he snickered.

He quickly tore into the paper, not even bothering to look at the card. She frowned a little and crossed her arms. As soon as the paper settled, Jesse let out a loud gasp. "Oh my god… How did you… How did, not even bothering to look at the card. She frowned a little and crossed her arms. As soon as the paper settled, Jesse let out a loud gasp. "Oh my god… How did you… How did you know?"

Felicity only shrugged. "I've seen the jar in your room, doofus."

She had bought him a SNES. She had known that he had been saving up for it since it came out a year before and she figured it would be a nice gift. Luckily for her, her parents were quite generous whenever it came to presents and had no issue with dishing out the dough for it. Obviously, she had asked Mr. and Mrs. Pinkman if she could buy it for him, just in case they had already planned to, but they gave her the go ahead.

"Hey, dad, can we hook this up right now?" Jesse asked, looking at his father.

Mr. Pinkman shrugged, "Sure. You finish opening up the rest of your gifts and you can play this after."

Jesse nodded excitedly and continued to burn through his gifts.

A few hours later, after all the boys became sufficiently frustrated with Mario Kart, the party drew to a close. Felicity stood on the porch with her parents who were just finishing up saying good bye to the Pinkmans. Jesse had not said so much as a thank you to her, but she didn't take it personally. That's just who he was. She didn't think of it again as her and her parents walked back to their house.

Meanwhile, Jesse was stuck with cleaning duty and came across a pink birthday card on the floor.

_Happy birthday, Jesse. I bet I can kick your butt at Mario Kart any day. Hope you like it. _

_ Felicity Scott._


	4. IV

IV

* * *

**September 9th, 2010 - Brooklyn**

* * *

It had been almost ten years since he last saw her and she was acting as if nothing had changed. As if he hadn't become sidekick to one of the country's biggest drug kingpins. As if he hadn't killed multiple people as a maniac's pawn. Jesse sat in the passenger seat of a silver Buick, watching as his old friend got into the driver's seat. She offered him a small smile before starting the car and backing out of the parking lot. They both sat in silence. He didn't like it. He was anxious. Maybe he had put too much trust in Felicity too soon. Who was to say that they weren't driving right to the police station right now?

Felicity glanced over at Jesse. His nails were digging into his thighs and she raised a brow. "Are you alright?"

He was silent for a minute before speaking. "Where are we going?"

"My house, remember?" she reminded.

"Are you sure? You aren't going to turn me into the cops or anything, are you?" he asked, panic evident in his voice.

She frowned, a bit hurt that he would think that. Felicity figured she should give the man some slack. She really had no idea of the magnitude of what he had experienced but from what she had heard on the news months back, it all seemed pretty heavy. She wasn't one to criticize him for participating in illegal activity, though – especially with her own line of work. That and Jesse had been involved with drugs since they were in high school. However, this time, it was obviously something completely different – something way more serious, too.

"No! Jesus! We're going to my house, that's all," she reassured, patting his leg lightly. Felicity felt him flinch and sighed. "You're going to be okay. Nothing's changed."

The moment she had uttered those words, she noticed him freeze up. She must have said something wrong. "Jesse?"

_Nothing's changed. _

Walter White's voice rang clearly in his head.

Jesse was glad that Felicity wasn't big on details. That was just how their relationship worked. If he needed fixing, she would fix him up – no questions asked. In hindsight, maybe he took advantage of that one too many times in his life, but was a bit too late to go digging up old history – especially when recent history kept spitting in his face. Jesse snapped back to reality.

"Huh?"

"Are you sure you're alright?" Felicity asked again.

He simply nodded, catching her shake her head slightly. She didn't speak for the rest of the trip.

Eventually, they came into the residential area. Felicity ended up driving into a small cul-de-sac in front of a large contemporary looking house. She pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. Jesse was sort of stunned, before realizing that there was no way she could live alone. She was twenty six after all, and was probably married or had a boyfriend or something. Jesse began to feel anxious. The last thing he wanted to do was become a burden to _two _people.

Felicity unlocked the door and ushered Jesse into the house. She never really had people over but she always tried her best to be a good host. As she kicked off her shoes, she decided to give Jesse a small rundown of the place. Her house was rather large and it was wholly possible for someone to get confused in it. "Well, alright, to your left is the den. The living room and kitchen are to your right and there's a washroom right over here."

Her house had been built just a few years prior and she took great pride in her Venetian style interior designing. She had quite a bit of help from her mother but she had chosen the white, gold and red colour scheme for the first floor. There was a large winding staircase right in the centre of the foyer which led to the basement and to the second floor and a rather extravagant chandelier surrounded by a glass ceiling. Her home had four bedrooms and three and a half bathrooms as well as a pool in the backyard and a kitchenette in the basement.

"Holy shit," Jesse whispered under his breath, whistling lowly. He half expected kids to come bounding out of nowhere but the house remained silent as Felicity took him through it. There were a few pictures here and there, mostly of her and her parents. Felicity never had any siblings but she did like to talk about her grandfather and her cousins.

"Yeah, I'd say it's pretty impressive," she laughed as she began climbing up the stairs. "Let me show you to your room."

The second floor of her home was similar to the first floor in its colour scheme but it was in the individual rooms where one could see the colour variation. Jesse's room was painted a deep red with dark hardwood floors. There were subtle hints of gold all throughout the room as well as various other shades of red. The room was outfitted with a queen bed, a desk, a closet and a small dresser.

"The washroom is the first door by the stairs, by the way. My room is the last one all the way down there and yours is the one right beside mine," she explained, pointing to the room adjacent to the washroom.

Jesse took a minute to soak everything in before nodding. "So, you live here… Alone?"

Felicity shrugged and laughed. "Yup, just me, all by my lonesome."

"So, what? No boyfriend or…?"

She scoffed. "Nah, I haven't dated in a few years, to be honest. You gotta be careful in my line of work, y'know?"

He almost envied how nonchalant she was. If he had been in her shoes, he would've been looking over his shoulder 24/7.

Felicity pulled out her cellphone and let out a small, "Hm."

"…What's up?" Jesse inquired.

She slipped her phone back into her pocket and shrugged. Felicity began walking closer to him. Jesse felt his entire body freeze up. She didn't stop until she was only inches away from his face. Felicity raised a hand and gently ran her fingers over his scars. He furrowed his brows and pursed his lips as he held his breath. Her cold blue eyes examined his face closely.

"Let's go get your haircut," she whispered, her lip quirking into a small smile.

Jesse relaxed and narrowed his eyes at her. He didn't really know what to expect but he had thought it would be something a little more serious. "Right now?"

"Yeah, right now! It's only like… Six o'clock. And maybe if we have time we can get something to eat? Sound good?"

Jesse shot her a confused look. "You treat all your clients this well?"

Felicity was already making her way down the stairs as she looked up at him. "Only the one's I've seen in their underwear."

She couldn't exactly explain why she was going out of her way for this guy. It was true that they had been close family friends since they were kids but her helping was a lot more complicated than just an obligation due to association. No, Felicity was obligated on a much deeper level than that.

Pulling up into the small back lot of a strip mall, she led Jesse into a hair salon. It was pretty late in the day so there were no other customers around. However, the staff still milled about, sweeping up hair and sorting out products. The bell above the door jingled signalling their arrival and almost every woman working in the store turned to greet them. One woman in particular came to welcome them into the store. She was of average height with long dark hair and equally dark eyes.

"Lila!" Felicity exclaimed, hugging her tightly.

Lila Choi was the daughter of Linda Choi, the owner of Choice Salon and Nails. She had attended the same college as Felicity but was a year younger. In all actuality, the Scotts owned the entire strip mall where the salon was located but they rarely dropped by to see what was going on. Joseph Scott, Felicity's father, was a big time entrepreneur and current CEO of the Bellini Group of Hotels and Restaurants. He also invested in small time ventures like nail salons and family diners. Felicity was a regular at the salon as well as close friends with Lila.

"Hey! What're you doing here so late?" she asked.

"Oh, I'm not here to get anything done. A friend of mine was in town and he wanted to get his haircut. As you can see," Felicity began, pulling Jesse over, "He's currently rocking the homeless look and in my opinion, he looks much better when he's clean cut."

Jesse growled under his breath as Felicity grabbed him. He looked to the other woman and offered her a small smile.

"Lila, this is Alex, Alex, this is my friend Lila – we went to the same college," she explained.

_Alex? _Well, she obviously couldn't use the Jesse.

"Nice to meet you!" Lila quipped, grabbing his hand to shake. Jesse nodded as if to say the same thing. "I'll get someone to help you out, one sec."

In a matter of seconds, a much shorter woman swept Jesse away. Lila turned to Felicity, a devilish smirk on her face. "A friend of yours, hm?"

Felicity rolled her eyes. "Yeah, a friend of mine. Family friend, even."

She was going to do her best not to reveal that they had grown up together, just because if somehow, someone put together that this guy who looked a lot like Jesse Pinkman _and _went to high school with her in _Albuquerque _– well, then the cat would definitely be out of the bag.

"Oh, I see… Well, I never took you to go for the rugged type," Lila teased.

"I'm not _going _for anyone, Lila," Felicity said sounding a bit exasperated. She absolutely had no feelings for Jesse whatsoever, except for the overwhelming feeling of obligation. Aside from that, they were simply friends and that was it. The time for her to develop feelings for him was long gone. They weren't kids anymore and given current circumstances, it would have never worked out in the first place.

Lila patted her arm softly and chuckled. "Mm, yeah, alright. Hey, I'll catch up with you in a bit, okay? I've got to do inventory in the back but I'll probably be done before you guys leave."

Felicity nodded and hugged her quickly before going to take a seat in the waiting area of the shop. She flipped through a few magazines as she waited for Jesse. As her eyes scanned the lines in the magazine, she heard the faint sound of an electric razor as well as the sound of a newscaster delivering the evening news.

"And now for what continues to be our top story: a conclusion to the Heisenberg case. Authorities have finished investigations on the compound where Walter H. White, also known as Heisenberg, aged 52 was found dead on Saturday night. Officers have identified the other victims as Jack Welker, 46, Kenneth Blake, 38, Frank Jackson, 37, Matthew Reynolds, 30, Lester Fletcher, 32 and Todd Alquist, 24 – all of which appear to have been part of some sort of gang faction that had been manufacturing the popular "blue meth" of which Heisenberg made famous.

However, Albuquerque PD officers have yet to find the body of Jesse Pinkman, aged 26. While we once believed that Pinkman escaped to Alaska, evidence strongly suggests that Pinkman was responsible for cooking said blue meth. Other evidence says that Pinkman may have been held there against his will due to evidence found in a storm drain on the compound as well finger prints on shackles found within the main complex. DEA officials have also procured a DVD which contained footage of Pinkman supplying information to the late Agent Steven Gomez and ASAC Hank Shrader. Agents say that this information is still vital to filling in the gaps in this case.

Finally, the DEA held a press conference this afternoon addressing the current state of the Heisenberg case."

The screen then transitioned to footage of the press conference. A DEA agent stepped up to the podium and began speaking, "On behalf of the DEA and the Albuquerque Police Department, it would be my pleasure to announce this case as closed. While there are still many holes yet to be filled, we are confident that the testimony provided by Jesse Pinkman will help put the pieces together. As for Pinkman's current whereabouts; evidence strongly suggests that Pinkman had made his escape from the Welker compound, however it is unclear whether or not he escaped unscathed. We have found his getaway vehicle however, investigators have not found a body or any indication as to where he was headed. It is wholly possible that he had been picked up by a motorist but we think of this as unlikely as he would have been reported as seen by now.

It is with this information that we have no other choice but to presume Jesse Pinkman as dead. It is but another tragic death in the wake of Walter White and we send our condolences to his family and friends. Pinkman's testimony has proved to be extremely in the investigation thus far and are sorry but thankful for his assistance. Once again, the Heisenberg case is now closed. Thank you," an agent explained quickly.

Felicity tuned out for a moment before glancing at Jesse. All through the broadcast, they had be flashing his face over and over again. Hopefully he would be in and out of there before anyone really put two and two together. Luckily, none of the other salon staff had been watching the news with her. Felicity discreetly switched the channel to some inane drama before going back to leafing through the magazines.

A few minutes later, she heard footsteps approach her. Felicity glanced over the magazine to see a cleanly shaven Jesse standing before her. His hair was now at a reasonable medium length and his beard had been sufficiently trimmed. Luckily, the pictures that had been all over the news had him with shorter hair and a much thicker facial hair. He didn't have any of the scars on his face in the photos either.

She smirked. "Looking good, J-… Alex."

He nodded slowly and jammed is hands into his pockets. Felicity took this as a thanks and quickly went to pay for his haircut. Lila emerged from the backroom and stepped behind the counter, right in time to process Felicity's transaction. Her dark eyes examined Jesse intently as she quickly pulled out the correct change before passing it to her friend. "Looks like they did a good job cleaning you up."

Jesse shrugged, not really knowing what to say. When he looked at himself in the mirror once he was finished getting his hair cut, he couldn't recognize his own reflection. He knew it was him but it was hard to process the fact that he was there – that he was real. When he tried to hide in the recesses of his own mind, all he could hear were the voices of all the people he had lost – and all the people he had killed. After all of the things that he had done, it was hard not to see a monster instead of a man staring back at him. Felicity's voice sliced through his thoughts as she tugged on his arm, jerking him out of his own mind.

"That's why I brought him here!" she sang, giggling, "Anyway, we better get going. It was nice seeing you! I'll drop by to get my nails done sometime soon!"

"Haha, alright! See you around!" Lila said just as they slipped out of the store.

Felicity rushed to get back into her car and buckled herself in quickly. Jesse followed suit. She could feel his eyes on her as she drove out of the lot. "Something wrong?"

"You won't believe what I just heard on the news," Felicity chirped, shaking her head a little.

"What?" Jesse asked, fear rising up in his voice.

"The DEA and the APD… They pronounced you dead. They found your car and everything but they think that you may have gotten shot or something so they're just saying that you're dead," she said, "They're even making you out to be some sort of… I don't know, martyr or hero or something!"

"W-What?" he stuttered, not fully understanding what Felicity was trying to say.

"They're saying that your testimony or whatever has contributed so much to the investigation and that your death was tragic," she continued. "Maybe they're just cutting you some slack because you confessed. That's how it works, right?"

"Don't… Don't you think that's a bit…? I don't know, weird? That they'd just say I'm dead and then flip everything around so that I'm not the bad guy anymore? It all sounds a bit suspicious, don't you think?" Jesse rationalized.

"Maybe someone put in a good word for you or something, who knows. Maybe you still have someone watching out for you in ABQ," she winked. "If I were you, I'd just run with it. It just means it'll be easier for you to start over."

He nodded slowly, trying his best to take everything in. What about his parents? His brother? His friends? What would they think of him? Would they think he really was a hero? Jesse still couldn't understand why the feds and the police would just give up the search for him that easily. None of it made any sense. It was possible that someone pulled some strings back home, but it was unlikely. He didn't know anyone with that sort of power – anyone alive, that is. There was something going on, but Felicity was right. He was in no position to go against what was happening.

Jesse remained silent as Felicity continued driving.


	5. V

V

* * *

**July 16****th****, 1995 - Albuquerque**

* * *

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he answered, leaning on her heavily as she towed him into her house.

"You probably sprained your ankle, you idiot," she muttered as she dropped him down on her couch.

Jesse looked around her living room. He had only been to her house a few times before but he had never seen it so empty. "Where is everyone?"

"My mom's at some country club party and my dad's at work," Felicity explained as she fished a bag of frozen peas from her freezer. "Here, put these on your ankle."

Jesse complied and lifted up a leg, resting it on the coffee table. He caught Felicity glaring at him and spread his arms out. "What? You want me to put my drip water all over your couch?"

Felicity simply crossed her arms and shook her head. "Whatever."

She plopped down beside him, still sitting a considerable distance away, before picking up the remote and turning on the TV. She flipped through channels idly as if he wasn't even there.

"Hey, Fissy?" Jesse asked.

"Don't call me that," Felicity instantly snapped.

"Why're you helping me out?"

It was clear that Felicity was not too fond of him and nor was he too fond of her. Jesse thought she was too high strung. She always acted like she was better than him. Sure, she was pretty good at Mario Kart, but that was barely any reason to have any fondness for her. Jesse was secretly seeing how long it would take her to snap. He had done everything in his power to do so, whether it be coming up with a ridiculous nickname like "Pissy Fissy" or hound her down at lunch to bother her in front of all of her friends. However, it seemed like she was a long way from even coming close to snapping. Felicity would scold him but she never showed signs of exploding out of anger or anything. She always had the same expression every time he tried to egg her on. It was an expression that could only be described as saying, "Really? Do you really want to do this right now?"

Regardless of how much he tried to bug her, Felicity would always be there if he needed her. She had been there to give him band aids if he ever crashed his bike across the street or give him a hint as to where his friends were hiding if he was 'it' while playing Manhunt – and now she was here, sitting beside him, watching cartoons while he iced his sprained ankle.

Felicity looked over at him, a small smile on her face.

"Because I feel like it? Hehe… Or maybe one day I'll have a huge favour to ask of you, and you won't have any choice but to do it."


	6. VI

**VI**

* * *

**September 9****th****, 2010 – Brooklyn.**

* * *

Originally, Felicity had planned to take Jesse out for dinner, though eventually she figured it would just be best to order in after Jesse had become increasingly distant as time wore on. She now found herself sitting in the living room, watching some foreign movie alone. Jesse had retreated to his room, not having said anything since he got out of the car. Felicity worried but she figured it would be best to leave him be.

Meanwhile, Jesse curled up in his bed, getting reacquainted with the feeling of a mattress as opposed to an old futon on cement ground. He was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that this was happening. It was all so fast. First he had been picked up by none other than Ed, then it just so happened that one of his childhood friends was in the same business as him and _then _to top it all off, the police had declared him dead. It was looking as if things were coming up Jesse.

This was it – this was the new start he'd been longing for.

But then it hit him.

None of this made any sense. He didn't deserve any of this. He was a murderer. He had helped ruin so many people's lives. He was a monster. Jesse clenched his jaw, trying to overcome the shakes that were wracking his body. He was so disgusted with himself that he couldn't even bear being in his own skin. This little series of happy coincidences were all just cruel punishment – showing him all the things he could never have.

Where had his life gone? He used to be a regular street tier cook. It wasn't glamorous but it sure as hell beat being locked up in a lab with a tether around his waist, forced to endure endless hours of torture and ridicule. It was him, Emilio and his chilli pepper infused crystal. He didn't need any of that 'blue sky' shit. He was just fine before. Greed had turned him into a monster. It had eaten his soul and locked him in a cage that he couldn't escape. He did it for the money but he had no idea that it would ever become something so horrible. He hated himself for being weak and easily manipulated. Maybe if he had really, truly backed out, things would have been fine. But no. He let Walt mess with his head. He let him win again and again.

Just as he felt tears forming in his eyes, he heard someone calling his name. Felicity.

"Jesse? The pizza's here!" she called from the foyer.

He sobered up quickly, rubbing his eyes with back of his hand. She had lent him some clothes to wear. A pair of sweatpants she said belonged to an ex of hers and a large t-shirt she got free in the mail for getting a new gym membership. Slowly, Jesse got up from the bed, breathing slowly before making his way downstairs.

Felicity was there to greet him in the kitchen. Two boxes of pizza were piled on top of each other on the island, along with a bottle of beer and a Sprite. As soon as she noticed his presence, she waved, giving him a small smile. "Hey, everything alright?"

Jesse nodded. The last thing he wanted to do was to worry her. He wanted to stay in her life for as short a time as possible. He didn't want to risk ruining her life like he had done to just about everyone else who was important to him. The more he thought about it, the less he understood why she was doing all of this for him. At first, he had figured it was just business and he was just another customer – but Felicity wasn't stupid. She had probably figured out that he had absolutely no money left to his name. She opened up her home to him – she had taken him to get a haircut – she bought _dinner _for him.

"Why do you always do this?" he asked.

Felicity shot him a confused look as she cracked open the beer and slid it to him. "Do what?"

Jesse only stared at the bottle before looking back to her. "You're always going out of your way to help me. I… I got it when we were kids but… Now? You have no reason to help me – you have nothing to gain from helping me… It's been ten years we haven't spoken a word to each other and you just let me walk in and you give me a place to stay, clothes, food? What do you want from me?"

She shook her head. "N-Nothing! Jesse, I'm just doing this because we're friends."

"Bullshit!" he yelled, startling her a bit. "Or… Could it be…? Because you're afraid of me? Huh? Is that it? You're too afraid to just tell me to get out so you're pretending to be my friend, you're helping me so I don't hurt you, hm? Is that it?"

His voice just kept getting louder and louder as he rounded the island and cornered Felicity where the kitchen counter intersected. "You're just waiting, aren't you…? Waiting until I drop my guard… Then you're going to call the cops on me, aren't you?"

She just kept shaking her head. "Jesse! Snap out of it! I told you! We're friends! I give a shit about you, that's why!"

"You've made a mistake. I've _killed _people, Fissy. You don't want me here. I'm dangerous. I'm a criminal. I can hurt you…" he mumbled, more to himself than to her.

He had both hands planted firmly on either side of the counter. Felicity stood in the middle, her face not showing a hint of fear or anxiety. Jesse just kept on rambling about being dangerous and how he should have never let her into his home. "I'd be better off dead and you know it… I don't deserve to be helped… I've ruined so many lives…"

Felicity was about ready to slap some sense into him but instead, he broke down crying. Jesse crumpled into a sobbing heap, pulling his knees towards his chest as he hit his head on the island. Felicity gulped as she lowered herself down to his level. She wrapped her arms around him hesitantly, only to have him instantly shrink away. In all the years that she had known him, there was really only one time that she had seen him cry and that was when his parents had forced him to move in with his aunt and even then, it had been more out of anger than actual anguish.

Regardless of how much he tried to move away, she just kept pulling him back into a tight embrace. She stroked his hair slowly and rubbed small circles into his back. "It's going to be alright, Jesse… I promise. I'm here for you, no matter what you might think… Nothing's changed. I swear."

"I-I don't want you to get hurt because of me…" he mumbled between loud breaths.

"Trust me… That's the last thing you're going to have to worry about with me. Everything is going to be fine. I'm here for you, alright?"

Jesse wasn't too keen on becoming attached to someone again, let alone becoming dependent on them. He was too careless with Jane – she was in recovery and he had taken all that progress away from her. He had gotten too comfortable with Andrea – he played house without even thinking of their future. To let another person in would be to risk destroying their livelihood – or worse, taking it all away. He didn't even really think of Felicity in the same way as he thought of Jane or Andrea but he couldn't stand the thought of messing up her life too.

"You're gonna start over, Jesse. Okay? No one's going to get hurt… You'll get a nice apartment, a nice job, a nice name… Who knows, maybe you'll start a nice family and settle down in a nice neighborhood… You can put all of this behind you, Jesse. It's over. The nightmare is over…" Felicity soothed.

Soon, his sobbing began to slow down. He inhaled ragged breaths and kept his head buried in his arms. Felicity still held him, resting her head on his as she waited for him to calm down. She really had no idea what to do. When Jesse had been forced to move out, he was angry. He cried as he threw things all around his room, he smoked like a chimney stack and eventually became too tired to wreck everything and just settled on crying. He sobered up pretty quickly – said he wasn't a pussy and that he didn't need his bitchass parents anyway. Then he was indestructible yet again. But now, what would Jesse be? He had lost his super powers a long time ago – that much Felicity could tell.

As soon as he began to breathe normally, Felicity stood up. She extended a hand out to him which he promptly took. She hauled him up and offered him a weak smile. She could still see the pain in his eyes. She pursed her lips as she stroked his arm and let her hand slide all the way down to his. Felicity squeeze his hand lightly.

"You should really eat something," she advised.

Jesse nodded slowly, realizing that he hadn't had more than a few scraps of food in days.

Felicity took the two pizza boxes and put them on the coffee table in the living room. She also took out an entire six pack of beer and set it out on the table. Plopping down on the couch, she patted the space beside her and nodded as if to tell him that things were really going to be okay. She saw the reluctance on his face before he finally joined her on the couch. He took a slice of pizza before curling back up into a fetal position.

As children, Felicity always took care of him whether he liked it or not. She never did it in front of the other kids, though, because they were all in the stage where they thought everyone had cooties. But as they grew older, Felicity stopped caring about what other people thought about their friendship. She tutored him on all the hard subjects – which in most cases, was just about everything – and even brought him a lunch when he wouldn't have time or money to buy his own. But the strangest part was that she would always do it without asking for anything in return. Rumors would fly and there was endless speculation about the status of their relationship – but there _was _no relationship. They were always just friends.

So now, as he sat beside her, he wondered just what the hell was going on in her head. He had never been able to understand her. Maybe it was just because he had never met a genuinely good person before. He stopped believing in good people a long time ago.

"I'm glad you aren't really dead or anything," Felicity suddenly said.

"…Yeah, I am too."

"I mean… When I first saw your name on TV, I could hardly believe it. Well, a part of me did, to be honest…" she admitted, draining her Sprite.

"Well, here I am," he mumbled as he put his lips to his bottle of beer.

He paused.

"Not drinking?"

Felicity froze for a split second before shaking her head. "No."

He was a bit surprised to hear that considering she had always been able to hold her alcohol pretty well. Nevertheless, he continued eating, savouring the feeling of a full stomach for the first time in months.

Once they had finished up eating, they cleaned up the leftovers and parted ways to get ready for bed. To Jesse, the entire day had felt like a dream. But it wasn't. This was all really happening. He braced himself on the washroom sink as he stared at his own reflection in the mirror. He took in a deep breath. Felicity's voice rang in his head. _It's going to be alright. The nightmare is over._ It took everything he had to force himself to believe her. Tonight he would go to sleep in a real bed and wake up in the same room. Tomorrow would be the beginning of his new life.

Just as Jesse was getting into bed, there was a small knock on the door. He froze for a split second, fear rising up in his gut before he remembered that the only other person in the house was Felicity. The door creaked open as Felicity poked her head in.

"Oh, you're still awake," she spoke softly.

"Yeah, I guess," Jesse whispered.

"Well… I just wanted to say good night and sleep well," Felicity said, offering him a tiny smile.

"Uh, oh, yeah, good… Good night."

And with that, Felicity slipped out of the room, her footsteps echoing into the distance.


	7. VII

VII

* * *

**December 23****rd****, 1999 – Albuquerque**

* * *

Felicity woke up to the sound of her dog barking downstairs. She heard the faint sound of people having conversation downstairs and the thump of someone coming up the stairs. Felicity groaned and rolled over, pulling her blanket over her head.

Suddenly, her door burst open and she was walloped by a panting German shepherd. Felicity whined as she pushed the dog off of her. "No, no, down boy. It's too early, go back downstairs."

"Yo, Fissy! Wake up!" a voice suddenly said.

Jesse.

"Ugh. What are you doing in my room? It's like what? Nine AM? Why are you even awake?" she groaned, peeking out from under the covers.

They had always had such a strange relationship. As kids, they did all that they could to deny that they were friends but with her always going out of her way to help him and he always turning to her for help before anyone else, it was pretty obvious to everyone around them that it was quite the opposite. As they grew older, it was clear that they both subconsciously knew that there was no point in faking friendship. They started to hang out more often, though it was usually Felicity hanging around Jesse's group of friends. They were partners in whatever classes they had together and sometimes even sat beside each other on the bus.

Of course, as fifteen year olds, rumors began to fly. Felicity deflected them all with tact, simply reminding people that she and Jesse practically grew up together. Jesse, however, usually took such instigations badly. He would seize up and start talking about how Felicity was practically one of the guys and it would be the equivalent of banging Pete or Christian. It was true. In the time that she had known him, she would be lying if she said that he hadn't influenced her in some way. While she was still capable of maintaining her 'proper' outward appearance, she had definitely become more accustomed to cussing and using vulgar terms when she spoke. Most people associated her with Jesse's friend group but she was often seen as the 'mother' figure for just about all of them.

"Because we're going shopping, duh," Jesse quipped.

Felicity slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes. She shot Jesse a confused look. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, shopping. Y'know, gotta pick up some presents for Jake and shit," he shrugged.

"You do realize it's the day before Christmas Eve, right? I doubt you're going to find anything good now," she reasoned.

"Well, I dunno, I may as well try right? He's my lil' bro, after all!" Jesse exclaimed.

Felicity sighed and slid out of bed. She was clad in flannel pants and a t-shirt and her hair short shoulder length hair was sticking up in every direction. She had to admire Jesse's determination though. Jake had only just turned three years old but Jesse loved the kid to bits. He was surprisingly good with children.

She stretched her arms, yawning at the same time, before scratching her head.

"Yeah, yeah, well, you need to get the fuck outta my room while I change," she chided, shooing him out. "I'll be done in like twenty minutes!"

Later that day, they found themselves walking around a Toys R Us. Jesse pushed the cart around while Felicity examined some baby toys. They had already loaded up on new clothes but Jesse suggested that they also pick up something for Jake to play with.

"Where did you get all the money to buy this stuff, anyway?" Felicity questioned, looking at a package of wooden blocks.

"Hm, just some side business endeavours," Jesse shrugged, swiping the blocks from her hands to toss them into the cart.

She raised a brow. "…What sort of business?"

He only chuckled, shaking his head. He raised a hand and squished her face. He grinned and spoke in the same way someone would speak to a child, "Don't get your panties in a bunch about it, Fissy. You're always talking about how I should get a job, anyway."

"Don't call me that," she retorted, swatting his hand away. "And my panties are not bunched at all. I'm just curious, that is. Who would hire you?"

Jesse threw her a look as he continued walking down the aisle.

"Yeah, obviously not, because we both know you only wear thongs," he snickered. "Anyway, I'm self-employed. Sorta. Either way, none of your business."

She turned bright red and whacked him on the back of the head. "We don't talk about that, for fuck's sake."

He snorted, glancing at her over his shoulder. "I always took for you the granny panty kinda chick but hey, I guess we all have our secrets. I think it's pretty hot."

Felicity rolled her eyes. "Let's just get out of here, god. I was having a good dream before _someone _woke me up."

"About me, probably," he said offhandedly.

"Mm, right. I said a _good dream, _not a _nightmare_," she spat.

Jesse only shrugged before pushing the cart in the direction of checkout. Felicity trailed behind him and watched as he began to unload the contents of the cart onto the counter. The cashier rang up the items quickly; two new outfits for Jake, a stuffed bear and the blocks. As Jesse rifled through his pockets for his wallet, the cashier eyed Felicity.

"Would you like to sign up for our membership card? We give new parents a ten percent discount," she offered.

Jesse froze, eyes darting from the cashier to Felicity in absolute terror.

Felicity's eyes widened. "U-Uh, no thanks! These are for his little brother, actually."

The cashier nodded slowly looking between them before speaking again. "Do you need a bag for these?"


	8. VIII

VIII

* * *

**September 10****th****, 2010 – Brooklyn.**

* * *

Jesse's eyes fluttered open as his blurred vision began to clear. He bolted up quickly, unsure of where he was at first. His hands gripped the soft cotton sheets and he took in the dark red paint of the walls around him. He wasn't in an underground cell. This wasn't all one big dream. Slowly but surely, he rose from the bed, raking his hands through his newly cut hair. He let out a small sigh as he mentally prepared himself to head downstairs and face the day.

As soon as he opened the door, the smell of fresh coffee and toast wafted into his nose. He felt his heart wrench for a brief moment as memories surged back. Making breakfast for Jane, sitting down at the table with Brock and Andrea. He gripped the railing as he slowly made his way down the stairs doing best to suppress his feelings. Jesse didn't want to shove anymore of his emotional bullshit onto Felicity's plate. She had already done so much for him.

"Good morning!" she chimed as she pulled out a box of fruit loops from a cabinet. "Did you sleep well?"

"Morning," Jesse mumbled offering her a small wave. "It was a lot better than sleeping on a shitty old futon, I'll say that much."

Felicity make a small 'hm' sound as she placed the cereal box on the table. She had already laid out the milk and bowls as well as a jug of orange juice and a plate of toast. Jesse still looked a bit ragged but she supposed the scars on his face had a lot to do with it. She glanced at him as he sat down and poured himself some cereal. Felicity brought over the coffee pot and took a seat at the table.

She didn't end up getting much sleep herself. She stayed up for most of the night mulling over thoughts about the man sleeping in the other room. She wanted to help him – to fix him – but she couldn't do any more than what she was already doing. It hurt to see him so broken but she couldn't even begin to try to understand what he had been through. They had been so close growing up and it was just hard to deal with the fact that they were two different people now.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, sliding the coffee pot over to him.

"Better, thanks… And uh… Sorry… About last night," he apologized as he poured a cup of coffee.

Felicity shook her head. "No, no, no, don't worry about it, Jesse. Just… Just remember… I'm here for you, alright?"

Jesse nodded slowly, "Yeah, thanks…"

"Anyway… I'll get your pictures done today and I'll show you to your apartment. It'll take a day or two for me to get all the work done but in that time we can go pick up some clothes for you or something, sound good?"

He nodded again.

She gave him a small smile before continuing to eat her breakfast. She didn't say much after that. Jesse was sure that his little episode the night before had shaken her in some way. Hopefully, after today, he would be able to get his life on track and get out of hers for good. There was no way he was going to let her stick around him. He was done with putting people he cared about in danger.

Breakfast was uneventful. It seemed as if both of them were at a loss for words. Felicity had disappeared soon after loading the dishes into the dishwasher and had told him to feel free to make himself at home. She pointed out the remote control for the television and even opened up her game collection to him before taking off to do something else. Jesse had switched on the TV for the sake of having the sound of someone else's voice around. Silence was terrifying. He had spent countless hours milling about a quiet lab, the only voices he heard belonging to those god damn demented hicks. It was just nice to hear someone else talk for once.

Jesse plopped down on the couch and picked up a photograph off the side table. It was of Felicity and her parents. It must have been an old picture because her hair was still short. Her father had certainly aged but her mother looked completely the same. Or, almost. He was pretty sure she had some work done on her face – but that was beside the point. For the first time, Jesse began to think of his parents – of his brother. They probably all thought he was dead now. Part of him was still angry at them for all that they had done, but most of him was glad that nothing had happened to them. They were safe. Still, he wondered what they were up to. Did they miss him? One of the last things Jesse remembered Jake saying to him was that the talked about him all the time. He could feel tears well up in his eyes. He growled and wiped them away before they could fall. He refused to breakdown again. He was getting a new life. He had no choice but to leave everything behind.

Footsteps alerted him of Felicity's presence. He didn't know how long she had been standing there but he quickly placed the frame back on the table.

"Well, I'm all set up. You ready to take a few pictures?" she inquired.

Jesse raked his hands through his hair and stood up slowly, giving her a quick nod. "Yeah, let's get this done."

She returned his nod and gestured for him to follow her. Felicity was wearing a simple outfit made up of jeans and a black t-shirt. Her hair wasn't brushed and tied into a loose ponytail. Jesse had noticed how tired she looked but didn't think that he was in the position to say anything about it.

Eventually, they ended up in her basement. It was finished and just as well furnished as the rest of the house. There was a similar set up to the one in the basement of the bar with a desk, a computer, a white pull down screen and a tripod. Felicity clapped her hands together and let out a loud sigh.

"Alright, step in front of the screen, please," she said, her voice sounding oddly serious as if she had just flipped right into work mode. Jesse complied, standing in front of the screen. He didn't have to go to much trouble to keep a stoic face. Felicity got behind the camera and snapped a few photos. Not even the flash phased him.

"Okay, all done," she stated as his picture came up on the computer monitor. There was already a template open for New York driver's license. The name that was typed onto it was 'Alexander DiGianfelice' as well as a bit more fake information.

Felicity was already half way out of the basement before she called out to him. "You can see that later. I think that your new apartment'll be a little more interesting."

It wasn't too long later before they were getting out of her car and into an apartment elevator. The building itself was pretty new looking. Felicity had said that it was only built a few years ago. They got off on the twelfth floor. The suite was at the end of the hallway, suite 1201.

"Well, here it is," Felicity said as she opened the door. She let Jesse walk in first as she leaned against the doorframe.

"Damn…" Jesse said under his breath.

It was a large pre-furnished suite complete with a black leather couch and loveseat, a glass coffee table and a large wall mounted flat-screen television. The kitchen was equipped with stainless steel appliances and a granite countertop and the floor was covered in white tile. There were large windows that showed off an amazing view Jesse didn't really know what he was expecting but this was probably way beyond anything he could have come up with himself.

"It's all pretty standard – the first three months are already paid off but utilities are included, hydro, internet, cable… No smoking, no pets, the usual for a place like this – smoke on the balcony if you need to..." she explained.

_"No smoking, no pets, you want to smoke, you do it outside." _

Jesse felt his mouth run dry.

"…You okay?" Felicity's voice probed his head.

He blinked and stared at her for a few moments before nodding vigorously. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine."

Felicity pursed her lips and let it slide. This hadn't been the first time she noticed him spacing out but she figured that whatever was on his mind was none of her business. Maybe it was naïve of her, but she was constantly trying to forget that there was almost ten years of missed history between them and that this Jesse Pinkman wasn't the same eighteen year old that she had been friends with for so long. Of course, she had changed as well but she was going to do her best to keep that from compromising their friendship.

"Mm, alright, well – that's about it! This place is all yours. I handle all the paperwork and I'll probably be over in the next few days or so to drop it off. I'll also get you a resume with some reputable sources so you can get a job somewhere."

Jesse tried his best to listen to what he was saying but all he could really think about was Jane. Felicity wandered down the hallway with the intention of showing him the washroom and the bedroom but all he could really see was Jane's slender figure retreating into bedroom. He could almost smell her perfume wafting around the apartment and hear her laughter in his ears. He felt his heart clench. Jesse watched as Felicity pointed out the various other features of the apartment but all he could hear was Jane's voice.

"Jesse? You ready to go?" Felicity suddenly asked.

"…Go? Uh… Where?" he questioned, feeling slightly bad for not listening to her.

She was already half way out the door, keys hanging off her finger. As much as Jesse didn't want to worry her, it seemed as if he was doing the exact opposite. He was relieved that she hadn't called him out on it like she would've when they were kids but couldn't help but feel a bit bad for being so much trouble.

"Shopping, obviously. I don't think you can last the rest of your life in just that one shirt and pair of sweatpants," she chuckled.

Felicity had been nothing but lighthearted and understanding since he had showed up at the bar. Jesse figured it was mostly because she was trying to make him more comfortable. She wasn't going to get anywhere by being condescending. Regardless of how aloof he was, Felicity kept acting as if they had been in contact since high school. He was grateful for it, of course. Sure, he had always had Badger, Combo and Skinny Pete - and while their friendship was one hundred percent genuine, it always ended up coming back to drugs, whether it be marijuana or meth. Felicity had always been a constant in his life regardless of how much he fucked up.

"Oh, yeah, right. Let's go do that, then," Jesse conceded, taking one more glance at the apartment before following her out.

The apartment was not too far from downtown which made for a short car ride to the nearest mall. Felicity dragged him to a rather high end looking department store where most of the merchandise was a far cry from his old fashion preferences. He had long since dropped his gangster attitude in exchange for a more mature lifestyle – one that included cooking meth for stone faced businessmen and back door hicks.

"Well, feel free to get whatever you want, um, just don't forget the basics, boxers and socks and stuff. We can pick up some like toiletries at the drug store later," Felicity said, looking at a rack of sweaters.

Jesse snorted, "Yeah, yeah, thanks mom."

Felicity looked a bit surprised at his comment – and she most certainly was; but in a good way. That was more like the old Jesse she knew. After getting over the initial shock she only shook her head, laughing. "Eh, I'm not quite ready to be a MILF yet. Hah. Anyway, c'mon, let's see what we can find for you."

She saw the most fleeting of smiles appear on his face before she walked past him in search of more clothes. Maybe there was hope for him yet. Felicity knew it would take some time but she hoped that this was a good sign.

After picking up a few shirts, a couple of pants and one or two sweaters – along with all the basics, they left the department store with an ample supply of shopping bags. Felicity had paid for all of it, luckily without any questioning from Jesse. The last thing she needed was him getting curious as to where she was getting her money from. He probably figured that her 'extracting' business was all that she had – and it was probably best if it stayed that way. As much as she hated the idea of keeping secrets from him, as long as he didn't ask, he wouldn't need to know.

"So like… How are your parents?" Jesse suddenly asked as he clipped his seatbelt on.

Felicity recalled him looking at one of her pictures in her living room. "Hm? Oh, yeah, last time I saw them, they were doing pretty good."

"Yeah? When was that?"

She gulped. "Uh… A few years ago."

Jesse raised a brow. Growing up, Felicity had always seemed really close with her parents. He would never admit it but sometimes he was a bit jealous. His parents were constantly angry or disappointed with him but Felicity's parents always had her on a pedestal. Regardless of what they had heard about him, her parents were always nothing but kind to him. Jesse always felt like Felicity had a hand in all of that. He and his gang of friends weren't the only boys that would hang around Felicity. She always had another group of more seemingly straight edge friends but whenever they were all under one roof, such as at school events or birthday parties, Mr. Scott had always seemed more accommodating to Jesse's little troupe.

"I… I mean that was the last time I saw them in person at least. I've spoken to them on the phone and all that stuff," she recovered.

Her relationship with her parents had been rocky for the past few years. Circumstances had forced her to try to break all communication with them but it hadn't worked for long. These days, she would receive a check in call every now and again which wasn't all too bad. White Felicity still loved her parents to death, it was just too complicated to stay in regular contact with them.

"I see, well, that's cool… Hah, my parents are probably having a field day…" Jesse mumbled, eyes glazing over as he watched the scenery pass outside.

"Don't be like that Jesse… I'm sure they miss you more than anything…" Felicity reassured as she shot him a glance.

Neither of them were up to talking past that point. They were both too busy mulling over their familial relationships to say anything.

As soon as they arrived at the grocery store, Felicity's demeanor immediately changed. She hopped out of her car and quickly fetched a shopping cart. She caught Jesse staring at her with a confused look on his face. She simply chuckled.

"If you tell me you've forgotten about Funyun chicken I'm going to kick your ass," Felicity laughed.

He narrowed his eyes at her, wracking through his brain in an attempt to remember what she was talking about. Jesse frowned, shrugging.

"Uh… I got nothing."

Felicity rolled her eyes as she started making her way down the aisles. She threw in a few kitchen essentials into the cart.

"Are you joking? God, junior year, home economics – the class you took because you thought it was going to be full of girls? The class you made me take with you because all of the other guys thought it was for 'pussies'?" she giggled.

His eyes widened as it slowly came back to him. "Oh, yeah, we had to make an original meal and no one else wanted to be my partner because I almost set that other girl's hair on fire…"

"Mmhm! And obviously _I _had to be stuck with you because I was the only girl in class who had short enough hair to be deemed fire safe around you."

"It was an accident!" Jesse defended, picking up a few boxes of cereal.

"Oh, yeah, accidentally in class after school 'working on a project' in the home-ec class and accidentally leaning the girl over the stove – yes, Jesse, everyone believed that," Felicity shot, snickering.

Jesse rolled his eyes and continued down the aisle.

"But yeah, I remember Funyun chicken, shit… I'm pretty sure that was all I ate for the rest of junior year. Damn, it's been a while…" he mumbled. "Your hair is long now."

"Hm? You're just noticing that now?" Felicity questioned, slightly amused.

"Well, no, I'm just saying," he shrugged, "It looks good on you."

Felicity let out a small laugh. And out of nowhere, they were eighteen again.

Nothing had changed.


	9. IX

**A/N:** _Ah, hello! I figure we're almost ten chapters in so I may as well say something! I hope you're enjoying the story thus far! I'll admit that this is the most I've ever written for a fanfic and we're barely getting started! I can't say thank you enough for you kind reviews :) I'll also take this chance to give you all a heads up that this story will get a lot darker and while it is still rated T, there will be a few patches of mature content in the coming chapters. It isn't gratuitous by any means but it will happen sooner or later. Anyway, thank you again for reading and I hope you enjoy! _

* * *

**IX**

* * *

**September 3rd, 2002 – Albuquerque**

* * *

Felicity swirled the left over milk in the bowl in front of her, ever so often glancing at the hallway to see if Jesse was ready yet. It was their first day of their senior year and she had gone over to Jesse's house for breakfast. They had been going to school together every morning since sophomore year when Jesse first moved to his aunt's house.

Ginny was a wonderful woman. Despite being diagnosed with cancer, she had been nothing but patient with Jesse. With her, it seemed like he was a completely different person. He never did so much as swear in front of her – nor did he even think of lighting up a cigarette in the house. Regardless of how understanding she was, Ginny wasn't stupid. She knew all about what her nephew did in his spare time, but as long as it didn't happen when she was present, she was more than happy to let it slip.

"We're going to be late," Felicity mumbled, draining the milk in the sink as she rinsed out the bowl.

Ginny stepped beside her, also placing a few dishes in the sink. She sighed, shaking her head.

"Well, I told him to go to bed early last night, but we both know how he is," she laughed. "You better go up there and check if he's even awake. Only god knows what time he came home."

She was much skinner these days. Her skin was pale and sickly and her head was wrapped in a colorful scarf. Felicity had never been very familiar with Ginny growing up. She was always just Jesse's aunt that she would occasionally see at parties and barbeques but ever since Jesse moved into her house, she saw much more of her. Felicity sort of looked up to her. Ginny was selfless and kind – a person who always put other people first. While Felicity was already quite generous and tolerant, she could only hope to be half as good of a person as Ginny was.

Felicity nodded as she barreled up the stairs and into Jesse's room. As expected, he was snoring quietly in his bed. He wore nothing but his boxers, one foot dangling off the bed, his blankets kicked onto the floor. Felicity rolled her eyes. To anyone else, they probably would've felt awkward or at least a bit uncomfortable, but Jesse Pinkman had seen her at her lowest points of puberty. Seeing him in his boxers was nothing new. But what _was _new was the tattoo on his chest.

"A dragon? Really?" she whispered under her breath, rolling her eyes.

She scrunched up her face before leaping onto the bed. The mattress sunk beneath her as she stood over him. Jesse's eyes shot open and he inhaled sharply.

"Holy shit, Fissy, next time get a fucking blow horn," he swore, rubbing his eyes. "What time is it?"

"Ugh, it's almost nine o'clock, idiot," she said, jumping back onto the floor. "You have fifteen minutes to get dressed and downstairs. I've been here since like eight o'clock."

Jesse rolled out of bed and slowly bent down to pick up a shirt from off the floor, along with a pair of jeans. Felicity frowned.

"Do you not have clean clothes or…"

He flipped the bird in her general direction before opening a tub of hair gel. He ran his fingers through his hair quickly and turned to her, a challenging look on his face.

"That took me like, what… Two minutes? You coulda let me sleep in for another ten," he mused, grabbing a large sweater off the headboard of his bed.

"Yeah, yeah, but then you wouldn't have time to eat breakfast," Felicity reminded.

Jesse threw her a look over his shoulder. "Thanks a lot, mom."

"Don't you think it's a little gross that you've seen your mom in her underwear?" she retorted.

He paused, shuddering a bit.

"Thank you for that mental image."

Felicity laughed.

"You're very welcome. Now hurry the hell up, we're going to be late."

It never took Felicity particularly long to get ready. Her hair was never really an issue considering it only fell a little above her shoulders. She usually slapped on some foundation and eyeliner along with jeans and whatever blouse fit her mood that day, but unlike Jesse, most of her clothes came from a closet, not off of the floor.

Jesse stepped into the kitchen and greeted his aunt good morning, scooping up a piece of toast. Regardless of how much he didn't want to go to school, it was the first day of senior year and that in itself owed some obligation. These days, he only really went to school to see his friends. He could have cared less about education, and to be honest, his little gang of friends would probably be down for skipping with him, however, his educational trials were more out of spite than anything else. His parents had already exiled him from their home, so it was obvious that they had already run out of hope with him. To Jesse, getting his high school diploma was the biggest 'fuck you' he could give to his parents without actually saying it. It also helped that his aunt was extremely supportive, as if to compensate for what his parents refused to give him.

"I'll be home at like… Four-ish, alright?" he said before stepping out the door. "So I can drive you to your appointment."

Ginny shook her head.

"Oh, no, Jesse, it's fine I can go on my own-" she began.

"Nuh-uh, no way. I'll be home by four and I'll drive you myself," Jesse protested, speaking in between bites of toast.

The older woman simply smiled and nodded. "Alright, you two have a nice day, then!"

Felicity, who had been waiting outside the door, popped her head in, "Bye Ginny! You too!"

Jesse swallowed and waved.

"Later!"

And with that, they got into Jesse's car and made their way to school. 'Without Me' by Eminem blared from the speakers, so much so that Felicity could feel the seats shaking. Jesse began singing along, bobbing his head with the beat of the song. She rolled her eyes and rested an elbow on the door, resting her face on hand. The album that the song was on was practically the album of the summer and it was only one of the albums on repeat whenever she hung out with Jesse and his friends.

The chorus was coming up in a few seconds and Jesse began to nudge her, nodding as if to get her to sing along with him. Felicity scoffed, rolling her eyes again, only leading Jesse to nudge her even more. She let out a small laugh before finally giving in, spitting out the lyrics with precision. Her mind traced back to a hazy summer night downtown at some shady karaoke place with Jesse and his gang of friends, drunk off her mind and maybe a little bit high, too.

They both continued rapping along until the song wrapped up and before Felicity knew it, they were parked in the student lot of J.P. Wynn High School, the windows rolled down and the entire student body now aware that Felicity Scott had the ability to rap.

Just as the next song started, Jesse killed the music and glanced at Felicity. For a brief second, she looked like a deer stuck in headlights. Her eyes were as wide as dinner plates and her cheeks burned red. Everyone outside was staring into the car. But in a matter of seconds, Felicity cracked up laughing. She shrugged any of the attention off and turned to him as she opened up the car door. She was still laughing as she smiled at him.

"I'll see you at lunch."


	10. X

_**A/N: Oh, gosh. Looks like I screwed up the dates again. Anyway, that's fixed. Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)**_

* * *

**X**

* * *

**September 10th****, 2010 – Brooklyn**

* * *

"Do you remember that time when uh… What's his name… The history teacher in freshman year?" Jesse asked.

"Oh! Yeah! The guy with the handle bar mustache, right? Um… O'Handley, right?" Felicity quipped, dabbing at the corners of her mouth with a napkin.

They had finished off their shopping trip about an hour ago and decided on going to some random restaurant for lunch. Jesse had ordered a burger and fries as well as a tall pint of beer while Felicity had settled on roasted chicken and potatoes. They had been busy reminiscing about high school and generally catching up on the past few years – save for the most recent ones at least.

"Yeah! Mr. O'Handley! Remember the time he fucking face planted right in the middle of class because he tripped over the projector cord?" Jesse laughed.

"Oh, yeah, like hell I remember that! And he spilled his damn coffee all over my final paper?" Felicity stewed, making a sour face.

"God, I'd never seen you so pissed off, I swear you were about to shove your foot in his ass," he laughed, taking a bit of his burger.

As far as moods went, this was the best Jesse had felt in a long time, aside from when he made his escape from Jack's compound. He had been keeping his mind off anything that had happened in the last two years and instead focusing on thinking about simpler times – happier times. Felicity seemed to be a lot happier as well. All it really took was a few goofy stories from their teenage years to make everything better. He wondered how long that would last.

_… You'll get a nice apartment, a nice job, a nice name… Who knows, maybe you'll start a nice family and settle down in a nice neighborhood…_

He had had those thoughts at the back of his head for the whole day. From today on, he was the master of his own destiny. There was no Walter White, Gustavo Fring or Jack Welker to tell him what to do or put a gun to his head. He was his own man, now – free to do whatever he wanted. Those sorts of thoughts only caused Jesse to smile like an idiot.

"I considered it. Shit, I think I stayed up the whole night before that to finish it on time!" Felicity exclaimed as she waved her hands in the air. "Man, that was _ages _ago… I can't believe I still remember that stuff… God, we're old, aren't we…"

Jesse shrugged.

"Twenty five ain't old," he said.

Felicity furrowed her brow for a moment before laughing.

"Your birthday! It's in three days!" she mused, a wide grin spreading across her face.

He had forgotten. He had just started working with Walter around his twenty fourth birthday and the years in between just seemed to fly by. Jesse scowled as he remembered the watch he had given Walt for his 51st. Not wanting to dig up back memories, he shoved a few fries in his mouth and shrugged again.

"It is, isn't it?" he said, sounding a bit introspective.

"How about you tag along with me tomorrow night? I'm going to a party with a few friends from the bar – I dunno, you can meet new people and all that shit," Felicity suggested.

The more and more Felicity considered letting Jesse into her world, the more and more nervous she got. There were facets of her life that even she wasn't able to completely accept yet, whether it be the incident with her parents or even the state of her current source of income, it was quite a bit to swallow. Felicity refused to pile that onto Jesse's plate, especially after all that he'd been through.

"Uh, do you really think that's a good idea?" Jesse questioned.

Even though he had done quite a bit of showing his face around town, he was still a bit paranoid over whether or not people would recognize him or not.

"Well, I mean just about everyone is gonna be piss drunk, I doubt they'll remember you at all," she reasoned, shrugging.

Jesse chuckled.

"…I'll think about it. I don't know if I'm ready to hit the party scene just yet," he admitted.

Regardless of how on and off he was with drugs, Jesse couldn't help but twitch at the thought of shooting or smoking up again. One would've thought that he wouldn't want anything to do with drugs after all that he had been through, but old habits die hard. It was so much easier to float away on a numbing cloud than to have to wake up and face the world for what it truly was – a disgusting cess pool of liars and cheats. Now that he was more or less clean, that reality was something he would just have to deal with. Some people were just horrible, and that was that.

"Heh, alright. I hope you can make it though. It'd be pretty shitty to spend your birthday all by yourself."

She flashed him a small smile before continuing to pick at her food.

"Hey, so… How are the guys?" Felicity suddenly asked.

Jesse felt his blood run cold. It was only a matter of time before she brought them up. After all, they were here friends too, once upon a time. He knew that she had always sort of been close to Emilio since they were both 'new kids' growing up - hell, outcome aside, Felicity even ended up going to prom with him. While he didn't exactly want to bring up the past few years, Jesse felt as if he owed her an update about her childhood friends.

"Well… I-I worked with Emilio for a while… Y'know… Making crystal," Jesse began in a hushed tone. "But… Things went south and he ended up getting booked by the DEA…"

Felicity pursed her lips, not sure of how to feel. For some reason, none of this came as a surprise to her – and that made her feel horrible; that she had such low expectations for people she called friends. But she was one to talk.

Jesse was still talking.

"Mr. Whi- Walt… He… Well, he locked them in the RV with all this uh… Phospho-whatever gas… And he kicked the bucket right then and there…"

Her blue eyes widened.

"Oh…" she mumbled, gulping.

"But uh… The other guys, Skinny Pete and Badger… They're cool," he added as if to soften the blow.

Jesse noticed her furrow her brow.

"W-What about Christian?" she stuttered, not exactly wanting to hear what she was already thinking.

"Combo… He… He got caught selling product on the wrong turf and… God, they used a fuckin' kid to do it, Fissy… A kid… He was eleven years old for fuck's sake…" Jesse muttered as his mind descended deeper into repressed memories – waking up with Andrea in his arms, holding her after her brother had passed away. He could feel the anger rising up in his gut – the same anger that drove him to try to kill the two guys that had the gall to use a child to commit crimes. Jesse's fist was clenched tightly around his pint of beer. Any tighter and he was sure he could've broken it.

Felicity instantly regretted asking anything about what had happened in the past few years. She had no idea just how many people were involved with all of this. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she thought of Emilio and Christian. Regardless of how close they were when they were kids, they still practically grew up together. It felt as if a piece of her own personal history was just wiped away. Slowly, she rose from the table, slinging her purse over her shoulder. They were pretty much done eating anyway. Felicity tossed a few bills onto the table before rushing out of the restaurant without saying so much as a word to Jesse.

He watched her in confusion and only decided to go after her as soon as she walked out the door. After trying so hard not to make her upset, he went and did this. Perhaps he could've delivered it better. Either way, all he could really do was tell her the truth even if she had to suffer for it. All of Jesse's previous anger had dissipated into worry. Even though he knew it wasn't his fault, something inside of him scolded himself for not trying to protect her from something that could have potentially hurt her – an instinct that had been constantly kicking him in the ass for all of his past relationships.

Jesse found her standing in the parking lot, sitting on the trunk of her car. She held her head in one hand while a smoldering cigarette dangled from the other. He approached her slowly, soon drawing close enough to hear her crying.

"Hey… Are you alright?" he inquired.

She looked up at him, glassy blue eyes staring into his own. All she did was offer him a meager shrug, a small worn smile on her face.

"What a fucking world," she mumbled, taking a long drag from her cigarette before flicking off the ashes. "Cooking meth and committing fraud – we've come a long way from Mario Kart and shitty karaoke."

Jesse chuckled a bit, leaning against the car beside her.

"Hah, tell me about it…" he sighed as he eyed her hunched over figure. "You don't drink anymore but you smoke now?"

Felicity cocked a brow, turning to look at him. She shrugged and shoved a hand into her purse, rummaging around before producing a package of cigarettes. It had been way too long since he last had a good smoke. Jesse didn't hesitate to fish one out of the pack, balancing it between his lips as Felicity pulling out a lighter. He inhaled as she lit it and allowed the smoke to seep into his lungs. His eyes fluttered closed, letting the cigarette calm his nerves ever so slightly.

"At least with smoking I can manage to drag my ass out of bed in the morning… And I don't do it often," she explained, blowing a steady stream of smoke out of her mouth.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jesse asked, sounding a bit concerned.

She only shook her head.

"Don't worry about it," Felicity said passively, waving a hand at him.

Jesse decided to let it slip for the mean time. There was no use in trying to get her to talk about anything personal since he had already upset her once today. He took a long drag and sighed again. He suddenly felt a slight weight on his shoulder. Felicity was leaning on him now, still slightly hunched over. He tensed up for a second, not used to the feeling of human contact that wasn't some sort of violent act.

"What would've happened if I never left ABQ?" she questioned. "Do you think things would be different?"

He wasn't exactly sure what she meant by that but he figured she was talking about the two of them.

"I… I don't know, I mean… Shit was pretty crazy around the time you moved away," he lamented.

"Well, like… What would've happened with everyone? I just think that maybe if I stuck around that I could've… Helped… I don't know…" she murmured.

Jesse frowned. She had actually been talking about everything overall – and here he was thinking she was talking about them. Regardless of any internal embarrassment that he might have been feeling, he was still concerned by the fact that she was making herself feel guilty for the situation he was in. Luckily, it looked as if she hadn't caught what he was implying.

"Don't even think about that, Felicity," he scolded. "I'm sure I would've still ended up knee deep in shit regardless of if you had stayed or not. That's just how it was always meant to be for me…"

To think they had been laughing and enjoying themselves just fifteen minutes before and now there they were, sitting on a car in a restaurant parking lot.

"You're a lot better person than you give yourself credit for, Jesse," she whispered.

"…I wish I could believe you – but you don't even know the half of what I've done…" he said, voice hoarse.

She slowly lifted her head off his shoulder, hopping off the car and onto her feet. Felicity flattened her cigarette with her heel and crossed her arms over her chest.

"A person's choices reflect who they are and I have a feeling that if you go back and think about all the things that you've done, your intentions would say otherwise," Felicity reasoned.

Jesse let her words sink in for a moment. He knew there was some truth to what she was saying. For instance, Mr. White, despite being a power hungry megalomaniac, always had the best intentions for his family in mind. Jesse couldn't deny that most of his decisions were based off of his feelings for other people. He stared at the concrete below them, going through every one of the choices he had ever made.

Slowly, Felicity came towards him again just like she did on the first night that he arrived in Brooklyn. Her small hands cradled his face, lifting it up so that his eyes met hers. She smile softly as if she had just thought of something funny while her thumbs traced over the scars on his face.

"I really missed you, Jesse."


	11. XI

**XI**

* * *

**June 14****th****, 2003 – Albuquerque**

* * *

She examined herself in the mirror one more time before tucking a strand of hair behind her ears. Felicity wore a light blue gown adorned with a gradient of crystals from the torso down. Her short hair had been twisted into an elegant bun and she wore a pink carnation on her wrist. Her parents had been coddling her for the past half hour, moving her into different poses with Emilio, who was dressed rather flashy as well.

Despite the obvious tension in the air, Felicity had managed to wrangle both her group of friends as well as Jesse's group of friends to assemble at her house prior to going off to their senior prom. The affluent surroundings provided a sophisticated backdrop for the dozens of photographs and Felicity's parents had covered the limo charges. It would've been idiotic to decline such an invitation.

Twenty people mulled about her large abode, laughing and enjoying the company of their respective groups while Felicity did her best to bounce between both of them. While Emilio happened to be a constant within Jesse's small circle, he, like Felicity, had been similarly clean cut. He was well liked by most people and did not share the same trouble making reputation that Jesse and his gang did. That was most likely why he and Felicity got along so well. He had been one of the only ones to be decently nice to her when they were kids and even now, treated her with a slightly larger modicum of respect in comparison to Jesse.

Finally, as the time ticked closer to six o'clock, her father rounded the two of them over. Just like any concerned parent, he gave Emilio a thorough once over. Just like the rest of Jesse's friends, Joseph Scott had known him since he was a small boy. Even though he did not especially approve of what most of them had grown up to become, he did acknowledge the fact that his daughter had grown up with them and therefore obviously was extremely attached. He valued his daughter's happiness above almost anything. The boys were always respectful of their family as well, which was a plus.

"Alright, you two have fun tonight. Emilio, I'm trusting you to take care of my little girl, understand?" he instructed, clapping the younger man on the shoulder.

"Of course, sir," he answered confidently as he shot Felicity a smile.

She giggled a bit, reaching out to give her father a tight hug.

"I'll see you tomorrow, dad," she said, pulling away. Felicity was going to an after party at her other friend's house after prom.

They exchanged their farewells before piling into a limo alongside Jesse, Pete, Christian and Brandon. Each of them had dates of their own, none of which Felicity was too familiar with. There was Victoria, Riley, Maria and Ashley, respectively. She really only knew anything about Victoria – but all of the information had strictly been from Jesse's mouth. He had been trying to hook up with her for the past three weeks and had finally decided to ask her to prom as a way to seal the deal. Riley and Pete both had the same piano teacher while Maria was one of Christian's cousin's friends. Brandon had asked Ashley last minute, not even thinking that she would agree.

Originally, none of the guys wanted to even go to prom until Jesse figured it would just be another excuse to party – that and he was really determined to get with Victoria. It was simply a convenient coincidence that Felicity was looking to have all of her friends go to prom.

"I've never been in a limo before," Brandon mumbled, looking around in awe.

"I was in a limo once – like for my cousin's Quinceanera but it wasn't even half as sick as this," Christian said as he nodded in approval. "Damn, fuckin' cool of your parents to do all this stuff tonight, Fissy."

She rolled her eyes.

"Don't call me that," she warned, "Also, yeah, it's no big deal, really!"

Jesse scoffed.

"I don't see why you needed to drag all your other ass kissing friends to your house too, though," he spat.

He was fully decked out in a suit and a dark red tie, matching Victoria's long red dress. Victoria had long brown hair that was curled into loose ringlets. Her complexion was slightly tanned and her eyes a brilliant green. She was one of the lesser known cheerleaders at their school but it was common knowledge that she had recently broken up with her boyfriend of three years. Jesse had taken that as a cue to dive in for the kill.

Felicity frowned.

"Don't be jealous that I have more friends than you," she jibbed, a small smirk appearing on her face.

A few of the guys as well as their dates snickered quietly as Jesse just shook his head, wrapping an arm around Victoria's shoulders.

"Whatever. Not that it matters anyway. Tonight is about you and me," he spoke smoothly, putting on his most debonair smile on.

As soon as they arrived, they had more photos taken before entering the main room. The banquet hall where the event was being held was large and pristine. Large chandeliers hung from the ceiling and the dance floor was made out of dark marble. There were towering pillars on each wall as well as a fully equipped stage. The tables were covered with dark blue cloth and decorated with silver vases filled with white lilies.

Felicity once again began bouncing back and forth between her other group of friends and the guys. She had often settled on leaving Emilio with them as to not just be dragging him around. It was a laborious effort but she wanted to spend as much time with all of her friends as possible. She had yet to tell anyone but her family was preparing to move right after graduation. Due to circumstances beyond her control, she wasn't allowed to tell anyone anything. Her father's job had called him back to Brooklyn and there was really nothing she could do about it.

The night went smoothly and dinner was served. There was salad, pasta, grilled chicken and potatoes followed by ice cream for dessert. Felicity had been having a good time, mostly just chatting with Emilio about other people that she had seen around the hall. When their plates were taken away and the emcee announced that the dance floor was officially open, Jesse and Victoria were the firt ones to get up and excuse themselves from the table. Christian and Maria also rose up and made their way to the dance floor while Brandon and Ashley seemed to be in a heated conversation about Star Wars. Suddenly, Riley began making pained groaning sounds. She excused herself from the table and made a dash for the washroom, threatening to throw up on whoever got in her way.

"Probably food poisoning," Brandon shrugged as he watched her run away.

Pete only frowned, saying he'd be right back as he also got up and walked in the opposite direction, disappearing into the crowd. When Riley didn't return for another ten minutes, Felicity volunteered to go check on her. She quickly made her way to the washroom, pushing through a sea of probably inebriated teens. The washroom was fraught with girls fixing their hair and touching up their makeup.

"Riley?" she called out.

"I-I'm here!" responded a voice from the very last stall.

"Are you okay?" Felicity asked, knocking on the door lightly.

"Y-Yeah, I'll be out in a bit," Riley replied, heaving again.

After a few more gruesome minutes of vomiting, the door finally opened. Riley stepped out, makeup slightly smudged and hair in a mess.

"Let me just get cleaned up a bit – I don't know what the hell was in that food but ugh… I can't believe it," she muttered as she touched up her lipstick and smoothed down her hair.

"As long as you're alright," Felicity chirped.

Eventually, they got out of the washroom only to find that the party was in full swing. Their entire table was empty. Felicity furrowed her brow. Where could Emilio have gone off to? Riley gave her a light tug by the elbow, offering her a friendly smile.

"Hey, we best go find our boys," she grinned.

Felicity, still confused, slowly nodded, dipping into the crowd.

Somewhere along the line, Riley had found Pete again, pulling him towards her. It was then when Felicity got separated from her. Figuring it was for the best, she continued slipping past people in search for Emilio.

It wasn't too long until she found him.

He was in a corner, hands practically down some random girl's dress, tongue shoved down her throat.

Felicity stood there stunned. It took her a few seconds to register what was going on before she finally shook her head, picked up her dress and left the hall entirely.

It was already dark out but the cool night breeze was a well needed change from the hot interior of the banquet hall. She could still hear the music pounding faintly in the background. She wasn't really sure how to feel. Felicity never had any actual romantic feelings for Emilio but it still hurt to see _her _date with someone else. She was more angry than sad, to be honest. Regardless, Felicity took off her heels and took a seat on a wooden bench outside of the hall. The smell of cigarettes wafted through the air and she angled her head to see around the corner of the building. To her surprise, one Jesse Pinkman stood lazily against the wall of the banquet hall, suit jacket over his shoulder and cigarette dangling from his lips.

"Jesse?" she asked quietly.

His eyes moved to look at her as he expelled a stream of smoke from his lips.

"Yo," he said, waving flippantly.

Felicity slowly got up, moving to get closer to him.

"What're you doing out here?"

"Victoria and her ex are back together," Jesse informed casually.

"Huh? Since when?"

"Since right now," he chuckled, craning his head over to reveal a rather painful looking black eye.

Felicity immediately was by his side, holding his face gingerly as she inspected his injury.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you got in a fight? Really?" she questioned. "For some reason I'm not surprised."

He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. It's no big deal. I wasn't planning to go to school until graduation anyway," he shrugged.

"You're an idiot," Felicity whispered, a hint of amusement apparent in her voice.

"Who cares?" he mumbled as he took another long drag of his cigarette, blowing the smoke up into the air. "Anyway, aren't you supposed to be with Emilio right now?"

"He's busy," she scoffed.

Jesse narrowed his good eye, a frown appearing on his face.

"So, what? Like… He fucking ditched you for another chick or…? 'Cause I could go in there right now and wreck his shit-" he began.

Felicity shushed him. While she was touched that Jesse was willing to go beat some sense into her prom date, there was no way she was going to let him get into two fights in one night. That and he and Emilio were good friends. She didn't want to compromise that. They had come a long way from when they were kids. Sure, they were still constantly making jabs at each other but it was obvious that they were close. Jesse knew how much Felicity hated when he smoked around her and Felicity knew when to and when not to baby him. They needed each other on a level that neither of them really understood.

"Don't worry about it, Jesse. I can't have you getting two black eyes in one night," she laughed, patting him on the shoulder.

He frowned again, knowing she was right. Even so, he was still angry about what Emilio had did. Maybe it was because it was so similar to what Victoria had done to him. Jesse dropped the cigarette onto the floor and stomped it out before pushing himself off the wall.

"How about you and I catch a cab out of here?" Jesse suddenly suggested.

Felicity shot him a look.

"You know I have a party to go to after this, right?" she reminded.

"Yeah, well fuck them. It's going to be shit and you know it," he chided. "C'mon, we can order some actual food and play Mario Kart."

She thought about it for a moment. While she was unsure whether or not the party would truly be bad, it would probably be a lot shittier considering all of her friends would probably be preoccupied with their dates.

"Ugh, you're probably right. Let's get the fuck out of here," she conceded, pulling out her cell phone from her purse.

They hopped in a cab, laughing out "fuck yous" as the vehicle pulled out of the banquet hall. Eventually, they found themselves in Jesse's room, booting up his Game Cube and popping in the newest Mario Kart game. They had settled on ordering Chinese with sides of Funyuns and gummy bears. Felicity had changed out of her gown and into an old set of Jesse's gym clothes. She had let her hair back down and washed the makeup off her face. Jesse, too, had changed out of his formal attire and donned red boxer shorts and a t-shirt.

"Yes! Yes! Fuck yeah!" Felicity exclaimed, slamming the controller against the bed.

She had just won the third race in a row and was triumphantly rubbing it in Jesse's face. He groaned loudly and set his controller on the table, scooping up a box of noodles and inhaling them quickly.

"You have to had cheated or something," he grumbled, mouth still full of food.

"Don't be a sore loser, Pinkman!" she laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him.

Jesse lived alone these days. His aunt had passed away two months prior, finally losing her battle with cancer. Yet, even so, Jesse still attempted to keep the house in proper order. The house had been paid off ages ago and his side business endeavours raked in enough cash to help pay for food and utilities. Regardless of this, Felicity often popped by bearing home cooked food and company when his other friends were busy.

"Me? Sore loser? Hell no!" he protested.

"Then just admit that I'm better at Mario Kart than you," Felicity encouraged.

He shook his head.

"No, no fucking way. Nope. No," Jesse refused.

"Ten years, Jesse! Ten years since I got you that damn SNES and you've only beaten me like… What? Three times?" she chortled, poking him in the side.

Jesse recoiled and glared at her, still shaking his head.

"C'mon, Jesse. It's easy. Just say that Felicity Scott is the superior Mario Kart racer and that's it! It'll be painless."

"Only in your wildest dreams, Fissy," he rebuked.

"What did I say about calling me that?" she chided, narrowing her eyes.

He shot her a challenging look.

"Oh, what? You mean… Fissy? Pissy Fissy, oh my god, why's she such big fat sissy?" he chimed, recalling an old verse that the boys used to chant when they were children.

"Shut up!" she groaned.

Jesse repeated the phrase, moving closer and closer to her. His fingers poked her sides and she struggled to defend herself, trying to deflect his pokes as well as the horrendous nickname.

"Jesse, Jesus Christ, fucking quit it!" she laughed, whacking at his arms as she fell back against the bed.

Before they had even realized it, Jesse was on top of her, straddling her legs, his face deathly close to hers. Her laughter had died down significantly as she froze under him, blue eyes as wide as plates. She could feel his breath on her face and could see the full extent of his swollen eye. Subconsciously, one of her hands reached out and placed it on his face, a thumb gently stroking his cheek. He gulped and slowly but surely, placed his lips on hers.

For a split second, he was afraid that he had fucked up severely. Jesse felt her tense up under him and almost retracted, preparing endless apologizes in advance – but before any of that could happen he suddenly felt her kissing him back. While it was true that he had some attraction towards her, it was more of just general male instinct. Felicity was not unattractive in the slightest so it made sense that he would feel that way. However, not once in his life did he ever feel anything but platonic feelings for her. She was a friend – a very close one at that – who just always happened to be there; and he figured she always would be.

In Felicity's mind, sirens and alarms were going off. Whatever was happening right now could only go two ways; it would happen and mess up their entire friendship or it would happen and they would just never speak of it again. She had never once seen Jesse as more of a friend – he was not the kind of person that she could see herself dating. He was too reckless and vulgar – he was messy and indulgent. He didn't care about what anyone thought about him. But then at the same time, those were all things that she knew him for – all the things that she liked about him. True, he was a handful at best but she couldn't imagine not being friends with him.

Her lips parted slightly as he snaked a hand into her hair, pulling her closer to him. He sucked on her tongue lightly, his other hand rubbing her arm softly. Felicity let out a small whimper, obviously not as experienced as him. Jesse had had his fair share of girls throughout high school while Felicity had one short term relationship in junior year. Soon he was kissing down her jaw and raking his teeth over her neck. She clamped a hand over her mouth as she moaned softly, tilting her head over for him. Her free hand combed through his hair and down his back, causing him to arch onto her, a deep grown escaping his lips.

"What the fuck are we doing?" he mumbled, going for her lips again.

She nipped on his lip, gigging.

"No clue," she admitted, squealing as she felt one of his hands go up her shirt.

"Should we stop?" he questioned, taking on a much more serious tone. "I mean y'know with all that other shit that happened-"

Felicity kissed him softly to shut him up.

"It's fine. I trust you."

A small smile appeared on his face as he nodded, taking off her shirt entirely.


	12. XII

**XII**

* * *

**September 10****th****, 2010 – Brooklyn.**

* * *

She missed him.

Why was that fact so hard to swallow?

Maybe it was because she had simply up and vanished without even so much as telling him she was leaving. Maybe it was because she disappeared right when they were straightening out just what the fuck was going on between them. Maybe it was because he had always been secretly angry that she had deserted him in a desert wasteland.

"I… Missed you too," he replied, partially out of courtesy but also speaking the truth.

Felicity had been one of his closest friends for ten years. Having her just drop out of his life like that was almost like missing a part of himself. Sure, he eventually got over it – especially when he started getting deeper in the drug business – but every so often, Jesse would think back to his teenage years and she would always be there.

She smiled softly, dropping her hands to her sides. Felicity slowly turned her back towards him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"You think we should get out of here?" she questioned, looking around the parking lot.

Jesse finished off his cigarette and threw it to the ground, pushing himself off the car. He stretched out a bit, feeling a tad worn out from the sudden influx of emotions. It felt as if he was on a rollercoaster. One moment, he would be fine and ready to begin this new life of his but then the next second he was falling into a pit of old memories, overcome by guilt and anger. He figured it would just take some time to adjust to a regular life. There was really no going back from here.

Felicity seemed to be back to normal, which was a relief to him. He wasn't exactly sure how to handle dealing with her if she were to become an emotional wreck. Even in this instance, she seemed to be able to remain stable on her own. Jesse had only really seen her break down once in his life and that had been a long time ago. She was strong and he knew it firsthand. When they were kids, she never got upset when the boys poke fun at her – instead, she tried even harder to prove them wrong. She often did. Felicity never really cracked under pressure either. Jesse couldn't even begin to count the time where she had gotten his ass out of trouble at school.

"Uh, yeah, where to?"

She shrugged.

"I dunno, up to you, really. I don't have much else to do today," she said.

"Oh, yeah? You do anything else aside from the whole extracting thing?" Jesse questioned.

Felicity gulped.

"Well, I'm sort of the manager at the bar, but I work flexible hours. We have a lot of people hired there so there are a lot of people to take over shifts. I've sort of got an agreement with the guy who owns the place," she explained, not wanting to give too much away.

"Sounds like you've got yourself pretty set," he remarked.

"Eh, between you and me, I would have much preferred to put my computer science degree to better use, but it's a living," she sighed. "Anyway, you want to go anywhere in particular?"

Jesse shook his head.

"No clue."

Felicity pursed her lips and let out a deep sigh.

"Alright, well, you can come hang out with me at my place, if you hadn't had enough of me yet," she offered, chuckling. "Maybe we can find out if I can still kick your ass at video games."

Jesse raised a brow.

"Ten years is a long time, Fissy. I think you're underestimating me," he challenged, a small smirk appearing on his face. "But okay, I'm down for it."

"Heh, we'll see."

Felicity was glad that Jesse was alright with spending all this time with her. She had really, genuinely missed him. It was hard to believe that he was even standing before her now. The world definitely worked in mysterious ways. When she had left Albuquerque all those years ago, she had never imagined that she would even hear from Jesse again. Her parents had put a lot of effort into making sure she would never be in contact with anyone that she grew up with again. To this day, she still wondered why she didn't just ditch her parents and stay where she was happy. She had been so naïve. Not that any of that really mattered anymore. The important part was that one of her closest friends growing up had somehow wound up in Brooklyn and fate had strung them together once again. Felicity was just happy to be able to have him around again.

The returned to her home promptly, entering the house with a round of laughter.

"Oh, fuck off," Felicity chided, playfully shoving him as he leaned against the wall to take off his shoes.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch just because you can't accept the truth. You totally had a thing for Ryan Prescott," Jesse teased.

She rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen, fetching a can of beer and a can of Sprite. Felicity still kept alcohol around, despite not being very big on drinking – it was strictly for guests. She cracked open the can and leaned over the island, watching Jesse closely as he did the same. His blue eyes danced with mischief – a huge leap from the dull, gloomy look he had the night before. His lips curled into a smirk.

"You had his name scribbled into your diary," he said.

Her eyes widened.

"Jesse Bruce Pinkman, you did _not _read my diary," she gasped, standing up straight.

"You can't possibly think that I never knew where it was. Inside your pillowcase? C'mon! I practically stabbed myself on it every time I came over and sat on your bed. It was only a matter of time before I decided to see what the fuck you were sleeping on every night," he laughed.

"You little shit!" she swore, her cheeks turning bright red.

"It was sort of disappointing, to be honest. Not one thing about me," he continued. "Y'know, all those rumors – a guy's bound to get curious."

Felicity rolled her eyes again, avoiding his gaze. It was one thing to know that Jesse pretty much knew all about her little girly secrets growing up but bringing up old grade school rumors was a completely different story – it was something that had never brought up before – not even when they were kids.

"And what rumors would you be referring to?" Felicity questioned, shooting him a curious look as if she didn't already know.

"The ones that said you had the hots for me since… Well, just about forever," he laughed.

"You're seriously bringing that up right now?" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I am," he answered, the smirk on his lips growing.

"It was exactly what everyone said it was – a rumor," Felicity said shaking her head. She honestly never thought about having any sort of romantic feelings for Jesse when they were growing up. Her affection for him was purely platonic and she was one hundred percent sure of it. It wasn't some sort of love that she never wanted to admit - no, she loved him as a friend, nothing more.

Jesse just laughed, taking a long drink from the can.

"You act like you weren't subjected to the same gossip as me," she remarked, pushing past him to go into the living room. "How about you, Pinkman?"

Felicity bent down in front of her television case and pulled out two SNES controllers before hooking the dusty system up to her television. She looked over her shoulder and shot Jesse a teasing glance. He stood leaning against the doorframe of the living room resting his head on one arm, while holding his beer in his free hand.

"Me? Have a crush on you?" he snorted, "Only in your wildest dreams, Fissy."

She let out a small laugh.

"You and Ryan Prescott, though," Jesse began, coming up from behind to crouch beside her.

Snickering, Felicity passed him one of the controllers before turning on the TV. She backed up a little before sitting cross legged on the floor.

"What about me and Ryan Prescott?"

"He was a fucking nerd. I wouldn't have let you date him anyway," he said simply.

Felicity quirked a brow.

"Oh, is that so? Who are you, my dad?" she asked, laughing.

"Your dad let you hang out with me, so I mean…" Jesse began, throwing her an amused look. He had long forgotten about how he had upset her earlier that day. It was amazing how fast he was able to go back to a relatively normal state. He supposed that Felicity just had that effect on him.

The game started up as the words Mario Kart flashed on the screen. Felicity flashed Jesse a toothy grin. He narrowed his eyes at her, lips quirking into a challenging smile.

"I'm going to wreck you," he said calmly, choosing a character. Mario.

"That what you always say," Felicity retorted choosing Peach for herself.

And the race began.

After much bickering and accusations of cheating, Felicity once again, beat Jesse in the best four out of seven games. She let the controller fall into her lap as she raised her arms and hooted victoriously.

"Ten years and I've still got it," she bellowed.

"C'mon, I haven't played in ages, it's barely fair," Jesse argued.

"Mm, neither have I, heh. Look at the dust on this thing," Felicity admitted. "Maybe I'm just always going to be better than you at this game. It's about time you just admit it."

"No way. No fucking way," he refused.

Felicity only scoffed before getting up.

"Here, we'll try another game out then. You, me, Halo. Whoever has the best KD ratio at the end of a FFA Slayer match wins," Felicity offered, tossing him a wireless Xbox controller.

If there was one thing that Felicity was good at, it was video games. It sort of came with the territory of being a computer science major. It was one of the only areas where she found herself able to bond with other people in her classes. She had never been too interested in any of the other things they were into. She was by no means a professional, but her Kill-Death ratios had always been very good. She rarely played in Free for All but in this one situation, she figured it would be the easiest way to prove who the master of video games was truly.

"Hah, yeah, sure. I hope you're ready to get knocked off your high horse," Jesse warned, moving back a bit to sit on the couch.

"Mmhm, right," she agreed sarcastically, plopping down beside him.

The countdown began and so did the match. At first it seemed as if Jesse was going to win, having racked up three kills with a sticky grenade while Felicity had already been killed once, but the tables soon turned as Jesse died getting a taste of his own medicine. His killer had been none other than Felicity herself. She snickered as caught Jesse shooting her a snide glare through her peripheral.

"You might want to pay attention, Jesse," she reminded, sniping him right after he left spawn.

The game went on as such as by the end of the ten minutes, her KD had been 13-5 while Jesse's was 11-7. Once again, Felicity howled with excitement, slowly craning her head to flash Jesse a victorious grin. He had of disbelief on his face.

"I-" he began.

"You what? Are completely blown away? Didn't think a girl could kick your ass at a shooter? Hm?"

"…All of those things actually," Jesse mumbled, still looking extremely surprised.

Felicity only shook her head, the smile still apparent on her face. Slowly, her smile began to disappear as she realized just how close she was to him. She was pretty much flush beside him, having shuffled in order to nudge him while they were playing. It seemed as if Jesse had realized that as well as his once gaping mouth was now shut and his lips pursed. Felicity gulped as she stared into his eyes, not quite sure what he was thinking.

And neither was he.

Jesse's mind was bringing him back to their senior prom night. That whole ordeal shifted his view on Felicity completely. While they both agreed to put it behind them, Jesse had always wondered why it had happened in the first place. Neither of them ever really showed any signs of being interested in one another. Sure, they had always been making sly digs at each other but those were always in a joking manner. Felicity had made the same sort of jokes with his other friends, after all.

He had been no stranger to one night stands. He knew how to have sex with girls, no strings attached – but when the girl was your best friend, things were a little different. It was almost as if Felicity took it better than he did. She had said it was simply hormones. She was a girl, he was a guy – they had been friends for ages and people always talked about them being a thing. It was only a matter of time before they ended up acting upon their more carnal urges.

And yet, here they were again. They had both just told each other that they had never felt anything more than platonic feelings for each other but here they were, faces inches apart. Felicity bit her lip, gulping as Jesse slowly moved forward to softly press his lips to hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as she kissed him back.

Jesse's mind wandered even further.

He snaked an arm around Felicity, pulling her small frame closer to him tightly. He soon forgot just who he was kissing as his other hand raked through her long hair. His fingers played with her loose curls and for a moment, he saw Andrea in his mind's eye. Jesse's heart raced even faster as he kissed down her jaw and to her neck, mumbling soft, "I'm sorry's" against her skin.

It was then when Felicity stopped. She placed a firm hand on his chest, trying to push him away. The more she pushed, the tighter he pulled. She whimpered quietly, finally shoving him back with enough strength to make him let go.

"Jesse!" she cried, shaking her head.

He snapped out of his daze, the image of Andrea disappearing in his head. His eyes snapped open and he stared at Felicity. She frowned, averting her eyes. It was obvious what had happened. He had thought that he was kissing Andrea.

"I-I… I'm sorry, Felicity… I thought…" he began.

At the very same moment, the doorbell rang.


	13. XIII

**A/N: **Hey guys! Just wanted to pop in and say thank you for reading and also thank you for all your wonderful reviews! I hope you won't get too bored with this story because I promise that there's going to be some major action in the future. It's just taking a while to set everything up. Thanks again!

* * *

**XIII**

* * *

** June 14****th****, 2003 – Albuquerque**

* * *

Felicity woke up with sun shining in her eyes and a cool breeze caressing her bare skin. Groggily, she opened her eyes and as her vision cleared, a familiar dragon tattoo came into view. Felicity went rigid. Her head was resting on Jesse's bare chest, slowly rising and falling in time with his breaths. His arms were holding her against him loosely while one of her legs were draped over his. She was practically clinging to him. Carefully, Felicity slipped out from his grasp and scooped up her discarded clothes from off the floor.

She had sex with Jesse Pinkman.

Her friends would put two and two together eventually. Even if everyone ended up getting wasted at the post prom events of their choice, the two of them would still be unaccounted for in the morning. Felicity was a lot more concerned about what the guys would think of her as opposed to her other group of friends and that made her feel a bit guilty. Regardless, it happened and there was really no way to take it back. She tried to justify it in her head. They had simply been acting upon years of hormonal sexual tension, that was all. Even now, Felicity didn't any different for Jesse than she did the night before – and she hoped that it was the same for him.

She began to rummage through Jesse's cabinets in an attempt to throw together some sort of meal. Felicity only found chips, old cereal and some eggs. Making a mental note to remind Jesse to actually go grocery shopping, she fished out a frying pan and oil and cracked an egg onto it. She glanced at the stove clock. It was 11:30. Her parents would be expecting her home in an hour or so. Her mind traced back to Emilio, hoping that he was at least suffering from a hangover or something.

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor brought her back to reality as she looked over her shoulder. Jesse sleepily shoved his hand into one of the bags of chips, shoveling a handful into his mouth.

"…Morning," Felicity greeted, turning back to her cooking.

"Yo," Jesse replied with a mouth full of chips.

They quickly fell silent, save for the sound of an egg crackling on the frying pan.

"Uh, about last night… I-" she began, figuring she may as well address the elephant in the room.

"You've never been with anyone before, right?" Jesse suddenly asked, having swallowed his food.

"E-Excuse me?" she sputtered, flipping the egg over, her face turning bright red.

"I mean, like… I don't know – you didn't uh… Like… Fucking… Bleed or anything but I-…" he mumbled.

"Ugh, can you not… Put it like that? If you even tried to listen in gym class you'd know it's wholly possible for girls to rip their hy-" Felicity scolded, rolling her eyes as she plated the egg and slid it front of him. She cracked another egg and let it sizzle in the pan. Jesse cut her off.

"Fuck gym class. Now tell me, were you a virgin, yes or no?"

Felicity pursed her lips, turning to Jesse, her lips pulled into a thin line.

"Yeah, so what?"

"So what? Jesus Christ, Fissy, you fucking gave _me _your v-card? What the hell? Also! Let me repeat myself, _what the hell_? God we're like… Like… Really close or whatever! And we just had _sex? _That's fucked up – tell me that's not fucked up to you," Jesse ranted, throwing his arms in the air.

"It's fin-"

"Like what are the guys gonna say? What are your friends gonna say? Like, oh yeah, Fissy and Jesse are fuck buddies now? Don't you see where this is fucked up like… It's _you _and _me. _I mean, there's nothing wrong with you… Don't get me wrong, you're fine, you're great, you're perfect – but holy shit, it's _us_, Fissy. This is so fucked up!" he raved, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Jesse, I said it's fi-"

"Like no offense, Fissy but I knew you weren't a prude or anything but I figured you were gonna like… Save yourself for marriage or some shit like that? I don't know – but what I'm saying is that I know we joke around and stuff all the time but god, we did it – we did _it. _And you! Y-You did it for the first time wi-"

"I said it's fine! Calm the fuck down, Jesse!" Felicity yelled, leaning over the kitchen table. "It's fucking fine!"

"What do you mean it's fine? Like isn't this weird to you at all?" Jesse asked, shocked.

He just couldn't understand how she was being so calm about all of this. He was the one who slept around with other people, not her. Felicity should've been the one freaking out. But no, she was acting like he had simply seen her topless or something. Didn't she realize how big of a deal this was? Jesse could never look at her the same way again – not after he had done things with her. He had had a taste and there was no telling if he would want to go back for more. Would she even let him? Just that chance alone scared him more than anything. He didn't want sex to compromise their friendship.

"C'mon, Jesse. For fuck's sake, people have been talking about us being a thing for basically ever. And so yeah, I guess we did _it _or whatever but it's not like some huge scandal or something. We… We just let hormones get the best of us, or something, right? We were both in a weird spot last night," Felicity reasoned. "I mean, you're great and all, too, but I swear, this hasn't awoken some deep seated passionate love for you, don't worry."

"Hormones? Yeah, yeah, that's right, hormones! Fucking hormones!" he reaffirmed, much calmer now. Hormones made more sense than admitting that he was suddenly finding her a lot more attractive. He was relieved that she saw things in a purely platonic light.

"Anyway, it's not like we have to tell anyone, anyway, right? We've been dodging rumors since middle school – I'm sure we can last until graduation," she laughed, putting her egg on her plate before taking a seat across from him.

Jesse nodded.

"Right. Graduation."

Felicity put a piece of food in her mouth, pointing at him with her fork.

"Also, don't count on this happening again."


End file.
